


Close Proximity

by dizzily



Series: Late AU [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Angst, Biting, Blow Jobs, Character Death, Conflicted Kylo Ren, Creative Lube, Dark, Dark Kylo Ren, Hand Jobs, Hux is Not Nice, Internal Conflict, Light Bondage, M/M, Obsession, Oops, Pain, Rimming, Rough Sex, Virgin Kylo Ren, What is the opposite of slow burn?, very dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-19 06:49:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13699119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzily/pseuds/dizzily
Summary: Giddy with victory, Hux and Ren stagger into another room to celebrate, only to discover it's a wiring closet. But when one thing leads to another and Ren is late to Takodana, they both must pay the price. Their plan for resolution courts disaster and Ren must make his choice.





	1. One: Hux

**Author's Note:**

> Also known as "Late to the Clash on Takodana". Don't be fooled by the first chapter. This story gets very dark.

General Armitage Hux's moment was now. His whole life had built up to this moment: standing atop Starkiller Base with an army of stormtroopers before him, all of them inspired by his rousing address, and watching with them—watching with the entire galaxy—as his superweapon fired, crossed through sub-hyperspace, and destroyed the Hosnian system.

He was high on power. Hux had never tried drugs, but he knew that nothing he could take would give him this feeling. He had always known that the galaxy should be his to rule and this moment, right now, was a huge step in that direction. He gazed down at the stormtroopers lined up before him—the men and women that he had trained, had shaped—and felt his power flow through him. Finally the brilliant light rising from the core of the planet ceased. It was over. It was done. This was his victory.

The galaxy belonged to him now.

Flying, breathless, and completely absorbed in his own exultation, Hux started when he sensed motion to his right. He had an unexpected guest: Kylo Ren. "I thought you were going to Takodana," Hux said. He didn't care. He didn't care that Ren was here instead of on his command shuttle en route to Takodana. Nothing— _nothing_ —could spoil this moment for him.

"I wanted to be here for this," Ren replied. His helmet concealed his face, and its vocal modifier made his tone of voice difficult to gauge, but he seemed to be honest without ulterior motives. And Hux could understand why he would want to be on Starkiller Base right now. Anyone could revel in the glory of this day, this hour, this minute.

"The galaxy is mine," Hux said, a small smile on his lips. He added, with unprecedented generosity, "Is ours." The assembled stormtroopers began to disperse. They would return to their duties, while the officers and technicians in the control room celebrated. They had promised no unseemly gaiety, so Hux had granted them permission for a small celebration after the successful test of the weapon.

He turned from the view and started inside, away from the frigid outdoors. Inside he shed his greatcoat; his parade uniform would suffice. "There's a celebration in the control room," he offered. Ren would never accept. He was too moody and sullen to celebrate anything. And so, when Ren followed him through the doors and into the control room, Hux was surprised. But the surprise was not only at Ren's behavior; it was also at the celebration.

 _Small_ , they had promised. Here droids were serving treats both sweet and savory, and he could smell the alcohol from across the room. Seeing the general and his dark expression—or so Hux supposed—a scattered few officers scuttled back toward their stations. And Hux would have restored order immediately if Ren hadn't distracted him.

"What will you do with the galaxy, now that it's yours?" Ren asked. He strolled across the room, Hux at his side, and picked up some food item that Hux didn't even recognize. He had eaten widely in his lifetime, but there was more food that one could try even in those years. Ren, perhaps realizing that he was incapable of eating with his helmet on, passed the food on to Hux.

Reluctant to try this gray food with its oily sauce, even with his daring palate, Hux just held it in his hand. "First I'll destroy the Resistance," he said. "They no longer have the New Republic to protect them."

"And then?" Ren asked.

Hux realized that this was the least acrimonious conversation he'd ever had with Ren. It didn't seem right. He was waiting for the moment that Ren snapped and the familiar rivalry between them returned.

"Whom will you take to your bed?" Ren asked.

Hux, whose mouth had been open to answer the previous question, closed it abruptly. "Who says I'd take anyone to my bed?" he snapped.

"Just think of all the possibilities," Ren said. "And levels of willingness. You could have anyone."

Hux huffed, trying to think of the most preposterous person to take into his bed. It came to him. "Even you?"

There was a long silence. Then Ren eased away from the crowd and Hux followed. "What would you do to me if you had me?" Ren asked softly.

Hux had never considered it seriously, but he thought it would be the perfect revenge. All those times Ren had walked over him, had shown him who was most powerful...Hux could make up for all the times he'd been humiliated by humiliating Ren now. And he could release some of his pent-up sexual energy at the same time. Now, all he had to do was convince Ren—and find a decent location.

"Let me show you," Hux said.

Another silence, this one shorter. Who knew what Ren was thinking? Perhaps he had the same idea that Hux had. Well, Hux would make sure that it was he who came out the victor. So when Ren complied, he wasn't as surprised as he should have been.

"Do," Ren said.

The search for an empty room was a challenge. The "small" celebration had spread out down corridors and into other rooms. Had Hux not still been distracted by Ren, this celebration would have ended as soon as he'd seen its extent, but at the moment he was willing to let it go. He had other things on his mind.

He finally discovered a door—one with which he was unfamiliar—that was closed and chose that one. He unlocked the door with his code and pulled Ren in behind him. The door slid shut. It was then he realized that the room was a wiring closet. Shit. But it would suffice. He didn't plan to be in here long anyway, just time enough to satisfy himself using Ren's body, and then he would return and end the ridiculous party.

"Helmet, off," he said crisply. He needed to be able to see Ren's face if this were to happen.

A soft hiss and a click and Ren pushed back his cowl and lifted the helmet from his head. Hux almost didn't recognize him so rarely did he see Ren without his helmet. The brown eyes, never soft, were alight with something—amusement, perhaps, or desire. And those full lips—kissable lips, he thought suddenly—were twisted in something akin to a smile. Yes, Ren had intentions, probably dark intentions indeed.

Hux didn't know what came over him—perhaps a combination of the elation and the close proximity and the sudden easing of tension between him and Ren—but he pressed Ren back against the wires criss-crossed over the wall and kissed him. He had to know if those lips were as kissable as they looked.

He hadn't planned to kiss. Kissing was not a part of sexually dominating someone. Kissing was soft. Kissing was gentle. And Hux was neither soft nor gentle. So why...

Soft and warm and sweet, like a ripe fruit, Ren's lips brushed across his, withdrew, and then yielded. Hux's eyelids drifted shut and his lips parted. He could feel his pulse quicken. He wanted this kiss, desired it in a way he rarely allowed himself to feel. But was he allowing this, or was it taking him by force? He had never thought of Ren as more than an annoying, infuriating obstacle, yet here he was, kissing him. And not just any kiss. He sank his fingers into Ren's glossy, dark hair and probed Ren's mouth with his tongue.

Ren groaned through his nose and gripped Hux's sides, pulling him closer. His fingers dug in, clutching, and Hux knew he was going to have fingerprint bruises up and down his rib cage. It didn't matter. His chest was pressed tightly to Ren's chest and he could feel the heat seeping through their clothing. Hux opened his eyes and saw the faint pink tinge of a blush spreading across Ren's cheeks.

No, this wasn't right. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go.

Hux pulled back. He had to take control.

"Strip," he said.

With startling compliance, Ren unzipped and unbuttoned until the top layer of black cloth fell away and landed in a heap on the floor. A tight black undershirt and black pants remained. The thin fabric of the undershirt clung to his muscular chest and abdomen and highlighted the width of his shoulders. He was bigger than Hux had anticipated.

Hux closed his mouth before words like gorgeous and sexy could slip out and betray him. With Ren's cooperation, he grasped the bottom hem of the undershirt and pulled it off over his head. He yanked off his gloves—and Ren's, too, for good measure—and used his hands to explore the swells and grooves of muscle and bone and the sun-starved skin that covered them.

His fingers found Ren's nipples, soft when the pads of his fingertips first brushed across them, but stiffening under his touch. Ren's swift intake of breath at the contact encouraged Hux, who rolled one nipple between thumb and index finger, and then pressed the palm of his hand to Ren's chest, above his heart. The skittering heartbeat he felt beneath his hand belied the calm expression on Ren's face.

Yes, this was control. This was subjugating Ren.

Hux bent down, banging his backside against the wall of the closet, and caught Ren's nipple between his lips. He pulled it into his mouth, swiped at the crinkled skin with his tongue, and then grazed it with his teeth. Ren made a soft yipping sound, his lower lip caught between his teeth. Never in his wildest imaginings could Hux have conceived that Ren could make a sound like that. He felt his cock go from moderately interested to rock hard in seconds.

Hux captured Ren's nipple between his teeth and tugged gently, listening to the hitch in Ren's breath and the little gasp. He had never heard such erotic sounds. Fighting the urge to satisfy himself now, he sucked Ren's other nipple into his mouth—a sigh this time—and trailed a hand down the front of Ren's pants to trace the outline of his burgeoning erection, constrained by the thick fabric.

"Fuck yes, Hux," Ren groaned.

Hux's body tensed at the words. _He_ was making Ren react like this. _He_ was in control. It felt good, finally, to have such power over Ren. He found the zipper at the front of Ren's pants and lowered it.

Ren moaned as Hux freed his cock from the confines of his pants. He laid his broad palms on Hux's shoulders and pushed down, a not-so-subtle hint at what he wanted to happen next.

And Hux considered not giving it to him. He shouldn't satisfy Ren by doing anything he wanted. But he kept thinking of those little sounds, each one sending a thrill through him, each one proving that Ren was at his mercy. And if what he'd done so far had created such an intense reaction, he could only imagine what further stimulation would evoke.

So Hux obliged—or tried to. He hit his elbow on the wall—"Ouch"—in his effort to get onto his knees, and then he discovered there wasn't quite enough room for him to kneel, and then he almost crushed the leftover food item—dropped and forgotten—under one of his shins. Ren looked amused and impatient at the same time. Finally, Hux shoved Ren's back against the wall and made room.

It was an uncomfortable position for a blowjob—at least for the giver. Because of the tight quarters, as soon as he took Ren's cock into his mouth, he felt like it was halfway down his throat. He didn't gag, but he came close. Hux was about to tell Ren he gave up, but he finally stopped thinking about himself enough to notice that Ren was panting and clinging to the wires on the wall behind him with shaking hands. It was worth the discomfort to see that.

Hux grabbed Ren's bare ass with his hands and felt the tightly clenched muscles. He slurped, tried to swallow the saliva pooling in his mouth, and heard Ren make one of those beautiful little sounds, almost a whine by now, and louder. If he'd had a free hand, Hux would have been jerking himself off. Ren's reactions were making his cock throb almost painfully. He bobbed his head, sliding his mouth up and down Ren's cock, and set a swift pace.

Ren was reacting as if he'd never done this before, which was...maybe not so preposterous after all. Hux had certainly never seen Ren take anyone into his quarters, but he knew little of Ren's former life. Were Jedi celibate? Hux had no idea. So many emotions led to the dark side of the Force. Perhaps passion was one of them. But Ren was no Jedi—not anymore—so he would be free to...

"Hux?" Ren panted.

Realizing he was drooling, Hux swallowed—and watched Ren almost convulse. A sheen of perspiration covered Ren's flushed face and he was panting as if he'd been battling. Hux released Ren's cock from his mouth, wiped his lips with his sleeve, and asked, "What?"

"You can't keep going like that," Ren said, catching his breath.

"No? Why not?" Hux asked. He wanted to hear it.

"Because this is the worst blowjob I've ever gotten," Ren said, with his familiar biting sarcasm. He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Because I'm going to come if you keep it up, idiot," he muttered.

Hux understood the unspoken " _And I don't want this to end already_ " and he was glad. He hadn't gotten his fill yet either.

Hux struggled to his feet without bashing any more of his limbs against the walls of the closet. "Here, turn around," he said. He flattened himself back against the wall to give Ren room to turn to face the opposite wall. Even before Ren was in position, Hux was tugging at his belt and the buttons and zip on his pants, desperate to release his cock from the bounds of his breeches and underwear. Freed, it stood proud against his belly and he sighed in relief.

Naked from the waist up, Ren leant against the wall with his palms flat against the twisting wires. The skin of his back was pale and smooth with a few scattered moles. Hux massaged his shoulders, trailed his hands down the muscles of Ren's back, and then grasped the waistband of Ren's pants and yanked them down to just below his knees. He pressed his mouth to the back of Ren's neck and bit hard. Ren winced and drew in a shuddering breath. Ah, he liked pain.

With Ren vulnerable before him, Hux finally felt the sense of power he'd been seeking. He squeezed his fingers into the crack between Ren's ass cheeks and probed the pucker. Ren gulped audibly. It was a tight fit and, though he had never done this particular act with a man, Hux knew it would be painful—for Ren most of all, but probably for him, too.

"We shouldn't—" Hux started to say. If it had been pain only for Ren, he wouldn't have hesitated, but he was unwilling to suffer as well.

"Wait," Ren interrupted.

The food item, abandoned on the floor, rose into the air—one of Ren's Force tricks—and landed in Hux's hand. It was dripping with oily sauce.

"You've got to be kidding me," Hux muttered. But he had to admit, the sauce would probably make an acceptable lube—as long as he could get over how disgusting it looked and, presumably, tasted. "All right, fine. But there's no way I'm putting my mouth down there if we're using that."

"You'd put your _mouth_ down _there_?" Ren said, as if he couldn't believe anyone would do such a thing.

"Are you a virgin, Ren?" Hux asked without thinking. The words popped unbidden from his mouth. He shut it.

There was a long silence. Ren refused to answer. Hux refused to retract the question.

Determined to show him something, Hux eased back down onto his knees and spread Ren's ass cheeks with his hands. Ren was quivering, the pink pucker of his hole tight. That wouldn't do. Hux leant in and kissed it lightly. Ren shivered. Hux stuck out his tongue and swirled it around.

Ren moaned and mumbled something that sounded like, "I thought you were joking." His hands tightened around a metal bracer at chest level. As Hux slurped and teased with his tongue, Ren's back arched. His hole may be loosening, but the rest of his body tensed. Ren was making a strange sound as though he were biting his lips closed and moaning around them. His bared skin was flushed pink, his hair was damp, and tiny rivulets of sweat were dripping down his back.

Then the piece of metal snapped off the wall and clattered onto the floor of the closet. A twisted hunk of wires tore off with it. The closet went dark and silent. The familiar low hum of the base was gone.

Hux pulled back, stood up, bashing into the wall yet again. "What did you do?" he demanded.

"It wasn't _my_ fault," Ren said. He sounded angry, but still breathless.

"Not _your_ fault? I wasn't the one who ripped those wires down." Yet, Hux knew, he would get half the blame. It was only a matter of time before Snoke found out and punished them. The sooner they got out of here and tried to make things right again, the better.

"Yes, but you..." Ren started to say, but gave up halfway. He had to know it was his fault, no matter what Hux had been doing to him at the time. It was his reaction. It was his bad luck. "Let's get out of here. We can pretend...."

"We can try," Hux muttered. "But Supreme Leader Snoke will know." He bent down, feeling for his gloves, and hit his head against the wall. Muttering several choice expletives, he gave up. There was too much cloth down there for him to distinguish his gloves. He settled for tucking his softening cock back into his underwear and pants and doing up all the fastenings. "Get dressed."

Standing back to give Ren room, he heard the all-too-familiar sounds of flesh hitting the wire-covered walls, following by much cursing, and he almost laughed despite himself. He reached for the door to open it a crack and peek out at what was going on, but he couldn't get the door open. "Oh, fuck," he muttered. The door required power. There was no power.

The rustling of cloth and cursing continued, and several times Ren hit Hux with his hand or elbow. "Look out!" Hux snapped.

"If I could _look_ , I wouldn't be touching you," Ren returned. "I've never gotten dressed in pitch blackness before."

"If you hit me with your helmet, Ren, I swear I'll—"

Ren shoved his helmet at Hux's chest. Hux snatched it out of his hand and dropped it back onto the floor. "Just hurry up and get your clothes on," Hux said.

Ages later, Ren picked up his helmet and thrust a pair of gloves into Hux's hands. "Done," he said. "Let's get out of here. I have places to be." Hux thought he detected a hint of anxiety, but the vocal modifier of the helmet made it nigh impossible to tell.

"We can't _get_ out," Hux informed him. "The door won't open. It runs on electricity, of which we have none."

Derisive laughter came through the helmet.

"What?" Hux demanded. He hated being laughed at. He'd had enough of that in his younger years.

Ren put his arm across Hux's chest and pinned him back against the wall opposite the door. Before Hux could resist or complain, he ignited his lightsaber. The ragged orange blade illuminated the wiring closet. Then it cut through the metal door. Hux cursed himself for not remembering the lightsaber. The blade cut a doorway through the metal, and then Ren doused it and stepped carefully through the opening. Hux followed.


	2. Two: Ren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one: Fun. Chapter two: Consequences. Enjoy!

The interior of the base was shrouded in darkness, with faint light coming from the doorway of the control room. The party that had been going on when Kylo Ren and Hux had disappeared into the wiring closet had dispersed completely. The sound of soft voices echoed down the corridors. People were gathered in the control room and presumably they were trying to figure out what had happened.

What _had_ happened? Ren had thought he would be able to keep everything under his control and show Hux the power he held over him. And then the kiss...that's when everything had changed, when it all went wrong. Except, at the time, it had felt so right.

At that moment, it hit him full force: the realization of how remiss he'd been. He wasn't supposed to be here. His job had been to watch the weapon fire from the Finalizer, and then take his fleet of TIE fighters to Takodana, where that droid was—and his father, too. But instead of following orders—they had been his own orders, as much as they'd been Snoke's—he had chosen to stop in to see Hux. Why? Had he wanted to share in the glory? Wanted to find a way to ruin Hux's moment and make him as unhappy as Ren was? Had he been afraid of what he might face after he left? He didn't know.

What he did know was that he needed to be at Takodana _now_. He didn't know how much time had passed in that wiring closet, but he might still get there in time. He never needed to arrive first anyway. He trusted his troops to have things under control by the time he arrived—but he did need to arrive.

"I'm going to the hangar," he announced.

"Don't think you're going to make me face Supreme Leader Snoke alone," Hux said defiantly, but Ren knew that the defiance was covering up fear. He could see right through Hux's bravado.

" _I_ have things to do on Takodana," Ren said. " _You_ have things to do here."

"I'm going with you to ensure that you don't make any more mistakes. And I know where to find a flashlight," Hux said.

" _I_ made a mistake?" Ren raised his voice.

"Shh! Do you want everyone to hear?" Hux asked in a hushed voice. He ducked into a nearby room and emerged moments later with a flashlight. But he didn't give it to Ren. He flicked it on and strode off in the direction of the hangar.

The corridors were dark and silent. Away from the hushed voices of the control room, their booted footsteps echoed loudly in the empty halls. Where was everyone? The darkness had fallen like a blanket over the base. Ren had never noticed the faint hum of the base until now in its absence. As he walked, he wondered about the extent of the damage. How would the operators react if they knew a hunk of wires yanked out could so thoroughly cripple the planet? The thought of their anger and dismay pleased him; the knowledge of First Order ineptitude and weakness annoyed him.

Ren knew that if he called Hux a coward, the accusation would be tossed right back at him, even though his excuse was valid: he really did have a reason to leave Starkiller Base. But if he allowed Hux to come with him to Takodana, then if something terrible happened there, he would have Hux to blame. It might serve him well. He had a gut feeling—one of the type that was usually right—that something was about to go terribly wrong. He just hoped his feeling was incorrect this time.

He had left his Upsilon-class command shuttle in the hangar of Starkiller Base. Though there was room for a crew of five and ten passengers, this time he'd taken it alone. Now he entered the shuttle and settled himself into the pilot's seat while Hux sat stiffly in the seat for the copilot. Ren wasted no time. He went swiftly through preflight procedures and guided the command shuttle out of the hangar and into open space.

The journey through hyperspace was short. Hux remained uncharacteristically quiet the entire time—no complaints, no criticism, no sniping just because he could. Ren didn't mind the silence. He suspected that Hux was worried about what they would face when they returned from Takodana. Even if Ren's mission here was successful, and they captured the droid they needed to find Skywalker, Snoke would still punish them for their indiscretions.

Snoke didn't want them to cooperate and enjoy each other's company, and he didn't have to worry about that. Circumstances and personality differences had set him and Hux against each other from the moment they'd met. Sometimes Ren thought Hux's goal in life was to get in the way of Ren's achieving his own goals. He was an obstacle, and an infuriating one at that.

When the shuttle came out of hyperspace, Hux straightened up and peered out at the verdant planet beneath them. As the shuttle descended into the atmosphere, and the view of the ground became clearer, it became increasingly obvious that something was not right.

The castle of Maz Kanata—the first landmark that came into sight—was damaged, but not as it should have been. For the first time Ren felt real fear heavy in his stomach.

"So they captured the droid without doing too much damage," Hux said with artificial lightness in his voice. He was deluding himself, but Ren wished that he could believe him.

Ren didn't reply. The shuttle had descended far enough that he could see what _had_ been completely demolished: many, many TIE fighters and crew transports. And the white-armored bodies of stormtroopers—Hux's stormtroopers, his stormtroopers—lay slaughtered on the churned up ground. They were dead, all of them. He had come to a massacre. He had come too late to Takodana.

"Supreme Leader Snoke is going to kill you," Hux whispered almost inaudibly.

Ren bristled. He knew it was true; that made Hux's pointing it out even more aggravating. "You'd like that," he said. "But I will make sure he is just as angry at you as he is at me. I don't care what it takes. If he kills anyone, it will be both of us." He set the shuttle down on an undamaged piece of land and lowered the ramp. He would investigate; perhaps things were not as bad as they looked from above.

Lightsaber in hand, Ren strode down the ramp and onto the disturbed ground. The command shuttle stood tall and intimidating behind him. He was supposed to be tall and intimidating, too, but he didn't feel it now.

He trod carefully around the scattered debris. The scene was unusually silent, without animal sounds, though he thought he might hear some faint sounds from inside the castle. The door was closed. He wasn't about to go up and knock.

Striding around the scene of the battle, he saw many dead stormtroopers, red blood splatters a striking contrast with their white armor, and plenty of them were missing a limb or two, or a head. Some had been run through with lightsabers. A deeper sense of unease settled in Ren's stomach at that. The air smelled of blood and fuel and smoke. Of death. Ren had seen battle before, but his side had never been so thoroughly routed. TIE fighters had been shot from the air and crashed into the ground, cutting deep ruts into the earth and scattering metal debris everywhere. Who had done it? He had no doubt.

The Resistance had been here.

Seething, Ren stepped around a stormtrooper, who reached out suddenly and grabbed his ankle. One. One had survived, but he was bleeding badly; he wouldn't live much longer. Ren knelt beside him, carefully lifted off his helmet. It was no one he recognized. The man's face was pale, grayish, drained of blood. Ren felt revulsion and something else; he didn't want to see this, didn't want to make the death personal. "What happened?" he asked.

"We came for the droid, at your orders, but the Resistance...knew we were here. They attacked...slaughtered us...and left with...the droid and the girl and FN-2187 and...Han Solo." The trooper drew in a breath that crackled with blood. "Am I going to die?" he asked.

"Yes."

The trooper's eyes flickered toward the sky—blue, a stunning blue. Then, very slowly, they closed. Inaudibly, just the movement of his lips, he spoke, "General Organa...was here." He breathed no more.

Ren stood and ignited his lightsaber. He screamed and slashed at anything that stood in his path, slicing through metal wreckage of TIE fighters and one Resistance X-wing starfighter, rocks and debris that had fallen from the castle, several trees, and finally through the ghostly figures of Han Solo and Leia that haunted him.

He had made a mistake. All he had wanted—for how long now?—was the location of Luke Skywalker, that final piece of map, so that he could destroy the last Jedi. And now, not only did he not have that fragment of the map, but it was in the hands of the Resistance as well. How could he have failed so spectacularly? Everything he'd worked toward, thrown away. And why? Because he was too busy fucking his enemy.

He screamed again and slammed his fist into a chunk of rubble. The sudden pain centered him and he was able to catch his breath. He flexed his fingers; nothing was broken, but his leather glove was torn. He stalked back toward the command shuttle. If he beat Hux there, he would take off without him.

But he found Hux lurking near the shuttle itself. He'd probably been terrified and taken shelter there. He was a coward. He couldn't tolerate the sight of death and destruction. All a general did was stand back and give orders. A general would never understand this. Hux was probably already planning new training simulations that would take into account Ren's failure here.

Ren dropped into the pilot's seat again and stared at the controls. He didn't want to go back, but he had to. It wasn't just facing Snoke that made him reluctant; it was facing everyone else, but especially himself. Snoke's punishment might even be a relief from the punishment he'd inflict upon himself.

"If you try to blame any of this on me..." Hux threatened.

Ren had mostly come down from his fury, but he wasn't about to let Hux get away with threatening him. He extended his arm and used the Force to fling Hux back against the wall of the shuttle. He didn't have to try to look into Hux's mind to feel the resentment radiating from him. Ren got a bitter sense of pleasure from this. One thing remained the same: the mutual antipathy between them.

While Hux was picking himself up, Ren replied, "I wouldn't think of it."

That threw Hux delightfully off balance.

He would find some way to make at least part of this Hux's fault. He was responsible for most of it, yes, but he refused to take all of the blame. Whereas he had instigated the discussion about whom to take into one's bed, he had not been the one to drag Hux off into that cursed wiring closet.

Memories flickered through his mind. Hux's lips—shapely and pink—and all the places he had put those lips, places Ren never would have imagined. He swallowed and turned his mind elsewhere. Maybe when all this was over, he would replay those moments in his mind, but they would always end badly. He would never be able to remember Hux's lips without also recalling the consequences. And now he needed to put all his attention on those consequences—and how to get out of them alive.

No, he would not take all the blame. Snoke would have to acknowledge Hux's errors as well as Ren's. If he didn't, it just wouldn't be right. And Hux would hold it over him forever.


	3. Three: Hux

Instead of taking Armitage Hux back to Starkiller Base, Ren docked his command shuttle in the hangar of the Finalizer. It didn't really matter where they ended up; Hux knew that Snoke would find them no matter whether they were here or there. There was an assembly room on the Finalizer where Snoke preferred to project his holographic self. If they were lucky, they'd make it to the assembly room before Snoke stopped them.

As he and Ren strode from the hangar and toward the assembly room, their rapid booted footsteps matched the pace of Hux's pulse. He could feel his heart beating in his chest, his pulse throbbing in his ears. He hated fear; it was one of the emotions he least tolerated in himself—and he strove to train it out of his soldiers. Few people frightened Hux. In fact, the only people who scared him were right here: Ren, at his side, and Snoke, awaiting them. His lip twisted bitterly.

Hux didn't appreciate feeling like he was tiptoeing around his own ship. This was his Star Destroyer; he was the General. He was one of the most powerful men in the First Order. But the last thing he wanted was for his punishment to be displayed for everyone in sight—and hearing. The fewer people who knew he made an error, the better. He'd had enough embarrassment already today.

The thought that he had made an error aggrieved him. And the memory of exactly what the error had been just worsened the matter. It had been one of the worst mistakes of his career—perhaps even of his life—and yet the memories still quickened his breath and brought heat to his cheeks.

They arrived in the assembly room just in time. Awaiting them at the far end of the chilly desk-lined room, the enormous gray hologram of Supreme Leader Snoke stared down at the two humans who had displeased him. Under normal circumstances, Hux would shrink before Snoke's displeasure. But he could see already that it was more than displeasure. Snoke was livid.

"Take off your helmet," Snoke said to Ren. "Don't think you can hide from me."

"Yes, Supreme Leader," Ren said. He removed his helmet and laid it on the floor at his feet. Hux could see contrition in his face. He hoped that Snoke saw it, too. If Ren were afraid, he was concealing it well. Hux tried to draw up as much courage as he had and project that instead of abject terror.

"Explain yourselves," Snoke demanded.

Neither Hux nor Ren was eager to explain, but Hux decided to try first. "Ren went to Takodana too late. There was a massacre. All our stormtroopers were dead when we—when he arrived. The...the Resistance got away with the droid." The words spilled from his lips as if speaking them faster would make them less offensive.

"And what about Starkiller Base?" Snoke asked. His voice was louder, more menacing. Hux felt his knees trembling; he knew he was in trouble. Takodana may have been Ren's fault, but Hux was in charge of Starkiller Base. Whoever had yanked loose those wires, the operations were Hux's responsibility.

"Ren damaged a wiring closet and cut the power to the control room," Hux offered. And the control room monitored and administered the operations of the rest of the base, so cutting power there effectively incapacitated much of the entire planet.

"Why was Ren in a wiring closet?" Snoke asked. Hux wondered if he already knew the answers to his questions and asked them just to test if his subordinates were lying to him.

Hux opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again. No words came out. He glanced at Ren and pleaded silently for his help, but Ren seemed just as tongue-tied. Hux cleared his throat and said very quietly, "Sex."

"Ren was having sex in a wiring closet," Snoke said, as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard. He shouldn't have to. It never should have happened. "With whom?"

Ren finally spoke. "With him."

Snoke shouted painfully loudly, " _You_ two were having sex in a wiring closet _instead_ of going to Takodana?"

Hux wanted to remind him that he was never supposed to go to Takodana, but he felt the grip of an invisible hand around his neck. Raised up from the floor by his neck, he struggled to inhale, but couldn't draw in a breath. He felt lightheaded and his vision darkened around the edges. He had seen Snoke kill like this. He could be next.

Then the pressure released and Hux dropped to his knees. Beside him, Ren was doing the same. Hux found a sliver of pleasure in knowing that he had not been punished alone. Now that punishment had been doled out, they could move forward and make plans for the future. Snoke was more merciful than he'd anticipated.

Snoke's holographic form stood from its throne, became almost twice as tall and twice as intimidating. "I shall have one of you executed," he said.

Hux looked at Ren. Ren was looking back at him. _One_ of them? Which one?

"You will choose which of you dies," Snoke continued. "I will give you an hour. If, by the end of the hour, you have not come to an agreement about who dies and who lives, the man who convinces me that he deserves to survive...shall." His booming voice ended and, seconds later, his holographic form disintegrated.

Hux got to his feet and turned to face Ren. This wasn't going to be easy. Obviously he couldn't be the one to die, but how could he make Ren understand that? It would never happen. He would have to make his argument for Snoke. Unless...Ren decided to kill him now in order to ascertain his own survival. Hux had no blaster on him—he suspected he had lost his in the darkness of the wiring closet—but he had a dagger. Not that a dagger would keep him alive for half a second in a battle with Ren.

"It's clear that I should be the one to live," Hux said, laying that out.

"Why?" Ren asked.

"I'm a general. I've trained—I continue to train the stormtroopers for the First Order. I'm essential to the operation of the First Order. You...you're just the Supreme Leader's pet." Hux straightened up, lifted his chin. He was taunting Ren, which was never a good idea. He knew that Ren could kill him this moment if he chose to do so, but he believed that Ren would not. Ren would like the victory and his overconfidence would have him believe that his value was greater than Hux's value.

"The Supreme Leader only keeps you around because you'll obey his orders," Ren snapped. "He keeps me because I'm powerful."

"Personally, I would prefer to keep around someone who obeyed my orders," Hux said. "Who cares about power when it's not used the way you want it to be?"

Ren scowled. He knew Hux was right; Hux could see it on his face. "You're worthless and weak," he snapped.

"You're resorting to insults now?" Hux asked. "Insults won't convince me and they won't convince Supreme Leader Snoke either. You have to have evidence, more than just a feeling. If you would stop to think and plan instead of running around doing whatever feels—"

"At least I do things!" Ren was raising his voice. "All you do is stand around and give orders."

"I do so do things," Hux returned. "But even if I didn't, giving orders is my job. I'm a general, not a—not a _knight_."

"The First Order needs knights, not _pansies_!" Ren shouted.

"What did you just call me?" Hux demanded. He couldn't believe Ren would dare call him that. He took a deep breath. He couldn't allow himself to get distracted. Ren might lose control, but it was in Hux's nature to keep it. "Pansies are attractive flowers."

Ren drew his lightsaber, making Hux take several involuntary steps backward, but he only slashed petulantly at some of the furniture in the assembly room. He snarled, kicked over one of the destroyed chairs, and then put away the lightsaber. It was the calmest tantrum Hux had ever seen him have.

"I have an idea," Ren said.

"I can't wait to hear it," Hux said sarcastically. It would be some impulsive foolishness, nothing workable, and would probably result in Hux's death. That was the type of idea that Ren had.

Ren surveyed the room, as if he feared that someone was watching, and then moved in close to Hux. "We should compromise," he said.

"Compromise? I didn't know that word was in your vocabulary, Ren!" Hux said.

"Or I could kill you."

Hux changed his mind. That was more like Ren. "Tell me about this compromise," he said, humoring Ren for the moment.

"Is there a difference between cowardice and self-preservation?" Ren asked.

Hux sighed. "Just tell me the compromise." He didn't want to answer foolish questions, particularly when there was no one answer. Sometimes there was a difference and sometimes there wasn't; it depended on the situation. But the distinction was irrelevant to the current situation. Therefore, he didn't care.

Ren leaned in close and spoke in just above a whisper. "We leave here together, escape, and then find some way to redeem ourselves when we return. Therefore, we both live." There was passion in his brown eyes, some aliveness that Hux would not have expected to see there.

"That's cowardice," Hux said. He couldn't believe Ren would suggest it.

"Do you want to survive this?" Ren asked. His eyes were darkening. The intensity of his gaze grew and his face hardened with determination. It was unsettling. Hux would have preferred the helmet.

"I have every intention of surviving this, and my survival does not include running away," Hux said. He was confident in his ability to convince Snoke that his life was more valuable than Ren's, and yet a niggling doubt was creeping into his mind. What if Snoke did want power over reliability? He had always favored Ren, but surely when it came down to choosing...surely he would choose Hux.

"I'm going to survive this, too," Ren said. "The question is this. Do you want to survive with me by leaving before our hour is over? Or do you want me to survive without you?"

"Those are _not_ the only two options," Hux informed him.

"They are now."

Hux sighed. He believed Ren. He believed that Ren would be petty enough to kill him for not going along with his stupid plan. And though it was stupid, there was a slight possibility that it would work. If it didn't, he would die. If he stayed here, he would die. At least, going with Ren, he had some chance of surviving.

When he'd gotten up this morning, he could never have foreseen his life taking this turn. When his weapon finally fired and destroyed the Hosnian system and the Republic, he would never have guessed that hours later it would be his life in question. But it had come to that, and now that it had, would he risk death honorably or would he fight and ensure his survival?

"Fine," he said. "But if we come back here and he gives us the same choice, you're going to die. You promise me that."

"I promise," Ren said. It was too easy. He didn't mean it.

"You swear to me on—" Hux began, but couldn't decide what Ren would swear on. His honor? Not likely. Ren had no honor. "On your life."

"I swear on my life," Ren said, again too easily. But it didn't matter now. They had to get out of here before their hour was up. "Come on," Ren said, and he grabbed Hux's gloved hand in his. "We have to go."

Hux snatched his hand away. He took a long look around the assembly room and wondered when the next time he saw it would be. And when he did, when he next met Snoke here, would he live or would he die? He looked back as he went.


	4. Four: Ren

They walked stiffly through the corridors of the Finalizer. Kylo Ren saw Hux flinch every time they passed someone he recognized. But no one else knew of their punishment. They wouldn't be stopped, but their flight would be reported as soon as Snoke learned of it.

Ren was not frightened; he was angry.

Everything had gone wrong, but that didn't mean he had to die. He had nearly always complied with Snoke's requests and commands. Snoke was the Supreme Leader; he had guided Ren from a Jedi-in-training to the dark warrior he was now. Snoke knew him, valued him, and now he threatened to kill him. Would he really? Ren searched inside himself and believed that Snoke would. Hux was right. A reliable asset was more valuable than one that could defy orders just because he felt like it.

He hated himself for fleeing. This was not who he was. He was powerful and courageous; he was not a coward. An idea—a dark one indeed—began to develop inside his mind, but he pushed it away. He wouldn't allow himself to think such things. Not yet.

He and Hux entered the command shuttle again and Ren flew it out of the hangar. He piloted it away from the ship and jumped into hyperspace, heading...where? Away, just away. He realized suddenly that he had left his helmet behind. He would go back for it...someday.

What else was he sacrificing? What else was he leaving behind? His reputation, his comfortable quarters, his privacy. He knew that he would miss the things he left behind, but Hux would be suffering more. Hux overvalued his reputation and his strict schedule; he clung to them. Away from his perfect order and routine, Hux would be lost. And it would be good for him.

Ren was feeling the end of the standard day cycle when he found a secluded planet in the Outer Rim. He didn't know its name; maybe it didn't have one. It seemed to be unpopulated and borderline habitable, which was good. He set the shuttle down in a clearing in the middle of what seemed to be a thick forest of dead trees. The sun was setting. Hux, who had been sulking in the passenger compartment on the lower level of the shuttle, came to the cockpit when the shuttle landed.

"What now?" Hux asked. Ren wondered how he'd been spending his time in the passenger compartment. Sulking, certainly, but he knew Hux couldn't tolerate being idle. He hadn't brought a datapad with work on it, but he had probably been working anyway, storing the data in his mind instead. Ren knew he would have been planning—or trying to plan—what lay ahead of them. That he hadn't tried to give orders yet was astonishing.

"We sleep," Ren said, frowning. He was tired from the physically and emotionally draining day. "We'll be safe unattended here, unless you want to stay up all night."

"I'm accustomed to that," Hux said. "But I'll sleep. I need to be ready for...whatever it is we decide to do. Speaking of which...do you have any ideas yet?"

"No," Ren lied. "Do you?"

"Nothing feasible."

Ren opened his mouth to criticize him, to start a fight, because fighting was more comfortable and familiar than this. Working together with Hux had always rankled him, and now he had chosen willingly to work together with this man, his rival, his enemy. He didn't like it. But right now he didn't need a fight; he needed sleep. Maybe when he awakened, everything would go back to the way it was supposed to be. He hoped.

Hux tossed a plastic rations pack at him and sat down in the copilot's seat. Ren had rarely needed to eat emergency rations, but he recalled that they tasted horrible. He would eat them anyway. Now that he had food in front of him, he realized that he was hungry. He ripped open the pack and put some of the hardened food material into his mouth. It was bitter and gritty, and it didn't fill his stomach like real food did.

Hux mumbled something and put a piece of rations in his mouth.

"What?" Ren asked.

"I was wondering if these tasted better or worse than that gray oily thing you tried to get me to eat," Hux said. He spoke carefully. And Ren knew why.

Ren was too tired to be angry about the reminder of his failure. He settled for cranky instead. "You were an idiot, taking me into that closet," he said.

"I didn't start it!" Hux said.

"You may not have initiated the conversation, but you were the one who had to demonstrate," Ren said. "You could have chosen to end the conversation, but you didn't. It was your decision. You started it."

" _I_ had reason to be there. _You_ did not. You were supposed to be at Takodana, not messing around on Starkiller Base."

Ren bit off a piece of ration. It reminded him of his first mission. Snoke had sent him off on some irrelevant task. Naive Ren had thought it was something important, but it had been little more than a test of his abilities and his compliance. He focused on the bitter flavor. It was better to think about that than about what had happened today. Even fighting had lost its appeal.

"Go to sleep, Ren," Hux said softly.

"Don't treat me like a child who's stayed up past his bedtime," Ren snapped.

Hux let out a sigh. Ren didn't need to try to probe Hux's mind to know that he considered himself the long-suffering hero. Hux was practically shouting it.

"I'll sleep here. You sleep in the passenger compartment," Ren said. He didn't want to sleep anywhere near Hux. He also didn't want to stray too far from the controls. This planet may look unpopulated, but there was always the chance that someone—or something—lived here.

He waited for Hux to retreat to the passenger compartment, and then did his best to curl up in the pilot's seat. He ended up on his side with his arms folded across his chest. If he had kept his mouth shut this morning, he would be in his own bed tonight. And he would be victorious. He would have the droid. He might even be planning his journey to find and kill Luke Skywalker in the morning. Everything would be different. Better. Normal.

He shut his eyes and welcomed sleep.

It was years ago, a lifetime ago, and he was sleeping comfortably. He was warm, cuddled between his mother's and father's backs. His father smelled musky, as if he hadn't showered before bed, and his mother smelled sweet; she always smelled sweet. Their bodies were solid and warm, and they and the blanket made him a little cave that kept him safe. His mother murmured in her sleep and his father snored softly. He felt something...attachment, comfort, safety. He might even feel...

"Ren!"

Ren started, opened his eyes, and sat up in one motion. "What?" He looked around the cockpit, but all was in place. He looked outside, but all he could see was darkness and the faintest glow of dawn on the horizon. Then he felt it, a slight lurch. He didn't know what it was, but he knew it wasn't good. "We're leaving," he announced, already flipping switches and going through preflight procedures.

"What is it?" Hux asked.

"I don't know. I can't see anything!" Ren snapped. He was instantly awake, but still cranky from being jolted out of sleep. "Whatever it is, I hope it can't survive in space."

Hux seated himself in the copilot's chair and buckled a seatbelt that Ren hadn't known existed. "I knew this was a bad place to land."

"Well, you didn't bother to tell me that!" Ren said. It was doubtful that he would have listened even if Hux had. "Hold on." He started the ion engines and the shuttle ascended rapidly, but he could feel a drag. Whatever it was, it was still clinging to the shuttle. He retracted the landing gear, and that, combined with the transition out of the planet's atmosphere, got rid of the creature. Hux peered down, as if to see what it had been, but the darkness concealed everything below them.

Since he had nowhere in mind to go, and he still wanted to get another hour of sleep, Ren let the shuttle rest above the planet while he thought.

"Did you get any ideas?" Hux asked.

Ren gritted his teeth, but he couldn't fault Hux for asking twice in such a short period of time if his answer was different the second time. "I have an idea, but you're not going to like it."

Hux should have agreed; he should have trusted Ren's judgment—not that it would have stopped Ren from telling him. Instead, he said, "Try me."

Ren took a deep breath. "We kill Snoke."

"What!" Hux shot up, caught on the seatbelt, and unbuckled it. "You're kidding! Tell me you're kidding, Ren!"

Ren was almost amused by this display. "I told you that you weren't going to like it."

"Not like it? This is more than not liking it!" Hux paced the space in the cockpit of the shuttle. He had to whip around every few steps; the cockpit was too small to pace productively. "That's insanity, Ren. You're crazy if you think we can take him alone—"

"Who said we were doing it alone?" Ren asked. If Hux disliked this part of the plan, he was going to hate the next part even more. Ren was a little pleased to be able to upset Hux this much with a mere suggestion.

"Who do you think is going to help us now?" Hux demanded.

"The Resistance."

Hux threw his arms up in the air. He had been rendered speechless.

Ren tried to explain. "The Resistance has everything it needs now. They have an excellent leader, General Leia Organa."

"I know this," Hux interrupted.

Ren continued. "The one thing that General Organa wants most is I. And the one person who's always in the way of her getting me is Snoke. So we go to the Resistance with our plan to defect and take down Snoke. Then, when they've helped us kill him, we turn on them. We take the Resistance down from the inside. And then—a new Supreme Leader."

Hux seemed to take this in. "How do we convince them that we're defecting? Won't they see through us? They may believe you, but what about me?"

Ren smiled. "You get to be my prisoner."

Hux quirked an eyebrow. "Your prisoner?"

"It's either that or you hide in the shuttle the entire time."

Hux didn't speak for a long time, and Ren let him think. He knew that his plan sounded crazy, but it was the best one he had. It accomplished everything that he wanted to achieve. They didn't have to redeem themselves in the eyes of their Supreme Leader. They would just take his place. One of them would. Ren knew it would be he, but he wouldn't spring this on Hux until the time came.

"How do we find the Resistance?" Hux asked. He had accepted the idea more readily than Ren had predicted.

Ren considered that. They had no way of tracing the Resistance to their base. If he'd been at Takodana when he was supposed to be.... Wait. "We go back to Takodana."

"What good will that do us?" Hux asked.

"Maz Kanata will know where they are." Ren knew this was true, but he also knew that Maz was excellent at reading people. The Resistance might not see right through him, but Maz could. He would have to play his part very well indeed.

Hux ran his fingers through his red hair, ruffling it, and then smoothed it back down. "Fine. We'll go to Takodana. And if we fail, Ren, this one's all on you."

Ren went to engage the hyperdrive. One good thing—it might be the only good thing—about going to Takodana was real food. He wouldn't have to eat another ration pack.


	5. Five: Hux

Armitage Hux couldn't believe it. He was going along with Kylo Ren's idiotic idea. It was the worst idea he'd heard in years. Unfortunately, it was also the best idea to get them out of this situation. And he rather liked the sound of Supreme Leader Hux. He might even settle for Grand Marshal Hux.

Once more the green lushness of Takodana came into view beneath him. He could almost see its beauty. The castle stood near a glistening blue lake and a verdant forest surrounded it. That castle should have been demolished, the droid captured, the Resistance taken down. And it was his fault— _partially_ his fault—that it wasn't. His one mistake had led to Ren's many mistakes and the blame for all of it fell too much on him.

Ren landed the command shuttle a short walk from the castle. However, given the shuttle's thirty-seven-meter-tall wings, it was anything but hidden.

"Listen," Ren said. "Maz can see the truth in someone's eyes. If I am to convince her to contact the Resistance, I must play the part well. Your part is the unwilling prisoner grudgingly agreeing to help. You'll be fine. But I...no matter what, you must not let me fall too far to the Light. Promise me, Hux."

Hux didn't like the sound of that. "I promise," he said, hoping that he wouldn't have to follow through on his promise. Ren had never been good at controlling himself. If he depended on that now, then...well, then they were screwed. Hux had the urge to flee, but he resisted. He had to believe in Ren.

Suddenly Ren took out a length of cord. "Come here."

"What are you going to do with that?" Hux asked. He had a horrible feeling that he already knew the answer.

"You're my prisoner. I told you that you'd have to play the part." Ren wrapped the cord once around Hux's waist, and then twined it around his wrists in front of his body. He tied it, leaving a little slack so that it didn't hurt Hux. Though he wouldn't call it comfortable, it could be much worse.

Ren lowered the ramp and they strolled cautiously from the shuttle to the front door of the castle. Hux was torn between optimism and pessimism. Surely they could succeed here. No, they were certain to fail. But if everything went well, they could get out alive. That was his highest hope: get out of this alive.

Ren pushed open the door to the castle. It was dimly lit and crowded with aliens from all over the galaxy. In a corner, musicians played. There was minor damage to the interior from the First Order's failed attack and, as Hux saw when he glanced upward, a hole in the roof, which had been hastily patched.

Far across the room, a short alien with burnt-orange skin turned from what she was doing and called out, "Kylo Ren!" It was as if she knew him, as if she expected him. The whole room went silent; everyone turned to stare at the two men in the entryway. "All are welcome. No fighting," Maz—for Hux now knew this was who she must be—said, and the aliens continued their conversations as if nothing unusual had occurred.

Maz crossed the room with two mugs filled with some liquid. Hux hoped it was water—he was thirsty—and then he recalled that he had no free hands with which to hold a mug. He resented the cord a little more. "I thought I would see you here," Maz said, setting the mugs down on a nearby table. Ren and Hux sat down across from her.

Ren peered at her. "You're Force-sensitive."

"I know the Force," Maz agreed. "Now, tell me why you have come. And introduce me to your guest."

"This is General Armitage Hux, of the First Order, and my prisoner," Ren said. He sounded smug when he said that. Hux's resentment increased again. "I'm here because I need to contact the Resistance."

Maz laughed. "You're a day too late. The Resistance dropped in just yesterday."

Ren made a noncommittal noise. "I know you're able to contact them. I need to talk to—"

"To your parents?" Maz asked. "They would be glad to hear from you."

Ren didn't speak immediately. Hux knew that his parents were among the last people Ren wanted to see, but the part he was playing couldn't feel that way. Ren had never been a good actor; he was the type to show the emotions he felt most intensely, not keep them hidden.

Maz leaned in, adjusted her goggles to magnify her eyes. "I see the eyes of a man who is being torn apart by warring sides, the eyes of a man who knows what choice is right but is afraid to choose it."

Ren clenched his jaw, and Hux knew he was about to explode. But when Ren spoke, he said mildly, "You're right."

Hux could have picked his jaw up off the floor. He tried not to show his astonishment; he created a diversion by endeavoring to find a way to pick up the mug sitting in front of him. Perhaps if he moved his left hand closer to his body, it would allow his right hand to reach out.

"That's why I need to contact the Resistance," Ren said. "Please, can you tell me how to contact them?"

"Ah, no," Maz said.

Ren's expression hardened. Hux tangled his hands tighter.

"I will contact the Resistance. If they would like to talk to you, I will let them," Maz finished. She stood, placed one of the mugs in Hux's hand, and left the table. "I will let you know their decision."

Hux struggled to lift the mug to his lips. If the cord hadn't been looped around his waist, he would have been able to drink. As it was, he couldn't drink from the mug, but nor could he set it back down on the table. He was about to swear aloud when his attention strayed back to Ren.

Ren was sitting very still, but the fire in his eyes belied his calm expression. As Hux watched, a shiver of tension ran through Ren's body. He reached out for Hux's mug, and Hux was sure Ren would cast it across the room in his anger, but Ren lifted the mug to Hux's lips. "Drink."

It was water, cold and sweet, and Hux drank several swallows before Ren returned the mug to the table. "Thanks," he said.

Maz returned to the table and stood at its side. "I talked to the Resistance and they agreed," she said, and Ren's eyes lit up. "They will send Han Solo to meet you. Expect him in an hour."

Abruptly, Ren stood. "I'll await him in my ship," he choked out. He grabbed the cord around Hux's wrists and dragged him toward the door. It wasn't the graceful exit his part should have included, but this way Hux hoped they would at least be out of Maz's sight when the explosion happened.

Ren simmered all the way back to the shuttle. He stopped twice to kick something, but each time clenched his fists and continued walking. Hux was impressed. There had been times when Ren wouldn't have made it out of the castle. Inside the shuttle, Ren hit the button to retract the ramp, grabbed his lightsaber, and screamed. He flung the lightsaber—fortunately not ignited—across the passenger compartment and continued screaming.

Hux sat down very quietly. With great care, and flexibility he didn't know his body was capable of, he extracted his dagger from his boot and sliced through the cord.

Ren was still screaming, expletives now, and throwing anything that wasn't attached to the shuttle. Hux watched, the usual fear instilled in him, but something else developed: annoyance. Ren was acting like a child and for once Hux wasn't afraid.

"You have to keep yourself under control!" Hux shouted. He grabbed the front of Ren's robes and slammed him back against the wall. "If you throw a tantrum every time you get upset, you are going to get us killed!"

Breathing hard, Ren fell silent and peered at Hux as if he didn't recognize him. Then he grabbed Hux's face in his hands and kissed him hard.

Hux should have been baffled, but he had a pretty good idea what was going on here. He threw Ren back again and heard the puff of air as the impact knocked the breath out of him. Ren kissed him again, hungrily, but Hux grasped his chin and turned it aside. He ripped away cowl and robe and pressed his mouth to Ren's neck, right above his collarbone, and sucked at the skin, leaving a bruise. Beside the mark, he bit down, sank his teeth into Ren's skin, until he tasted the faint tang of blood. Ren made a whimpering noise and pulled Hux tightly to his body. Ren's erection was hard against his hip.

Hux bit again, at the juncture of neck and shoulder, and Ren yelped. The sound thrilled Hux. So many times Ren had caused him pain, physical or otherwise; now he could return the favor. Ren's knees wobbled and he grabbed Hux's collar to pull him down. Hux landed hard on his knees, with Ren clinging to him. Ren's lips were wet, his tongue hot and insistent, and Hux groaned into his mouth. Ren had started something—and he was going to finish it, whether he liked it or not.

And Ren liked it. He kissed Hux desperately, his mouth everywhere, clashing with Hux's, and grabbed fistfuls of Hux's uniform. Hux turned the kiss brutal and savored Ren's little whine. His cock was just as hard as Ren's and it demanded his attention.

Hux threw Ren down backward onto the floor and fumbled with their gloves and the fastenings to their pants. He yanked Ren's pants open and undid his own with equal haste. He wanted to fuck Ren, to strip him and spread him wide on the cold metal floor and pound him hard, but this was not the time. He jammed his knee between Ren's legs to make room for himself and found Ren's cock with his hand. He stroked the hot, hard length in his palm and drank in Ren's whimper. Then he began a steady, pumping rhythm.

"Come on, do your part!" he snapped. Ren awkwardly wrapped his fingers around Hux's cock, as if he'd never touched one before. Even if he'd only touched his own, he had to know what to do.

Ren proved inept. His hand was shaking and weak, barely clutching at Hux's cock. The lack of effort made Hux want to slap him, but the hand not supporting himself was occupied. Ren was taking greedily without giving anything back; he was braced against the floor, his hips bucking against Hux's pumping hand. His eyes were shut, and sweat beaded on his forehead and cheekbones.

Hux solved the problem by thrusting hard into Ren's hand, and Ren accommodated him by holding his hand steady. Hux groaned. He wished he were fucking Ren, but he couldn't stop this now. The intensity was building rapidly. His mouth pressed against Ren's neck, leaving bite marks and bruises from his collarbone up. Ren whined at each application of pain and it just made Hux harder, hotter.

Barely a few minutes had passed when Ren panted, "H—Hu—Hux!" His eyes fluttered open.

Hux ignored him. He was close, so close, but he could wait. He would wait. He would try to wait.

"I—I—I'm not—" Ren gasped. His free hand clawed at Hux's shoulder, his own face, the floor. His back arched off the floor, his body shaking and twitching, and Hux thought he would come just watching. Whatever he was not remained unclear.

He couldn't last much longer; he was holding back, but his body careened onward, almost out of control. He bit down on Ren's shoulder to silence a moan, but Ren had no such restraint. He let out a cry with each pull of Hux's hand around his cock. He had to come soon. Hux couldn't hold out much longer.

Finally—though the whole event couldn't have lasted longer than five minutes—Ren came in spurts, and Hux followed shortly.

Breathing hard, Hux sat up. He checked his uniform for semen stains and remarkably found none. Ren, on the other hand, looked rather the worse for wear. He had bruises and bleeding bite marks in a line up his neck, the bright pink line of a fingernail scratch across his cheekbone, and, since he'd been on the bottom, both he and Hux had come onto his clothes. The black fabric had sticky white splatters across the front.

"I can tell from the way you're staring at me that I look pretty bad," Ren said. He pushed himself upright. He still looked slightly dazed.

Hux fastened his breeches and stood up. He offered Ren his hand to help him up, but Ren didn't take it. He just sat there, looking forlorn. Since he was acting like a baby, Hux decided to treat him like one. Or maybe he felt bad about causing so much pain and wanted to take care of Ren to make up for it. His motivations didn't matter.

Hux dug through the medical cabinet and came out with an instant cold pack and a small tube of bacta. He squeezed and shook the cold pack to activate it and laid it on the worst of the bruises. Then he gently dabbed bacta on the cheekbone scratch and on the bleeding bite marks. They would heal more quickly with the slimy liquid on them. Then he found a rag, dumped some non-potable water on it, and used the rag to scrub the white stains off Ren's black robes.

"All right, stop being a baby. It's almost time." Hux offered his hand again and this time Ren took it and allowed Hux to help him up.

"Will he know?" Ren asked. He was trying to turn up his collar so that it covered the bruises. He got it up high enough that the bruises were mostly obscured.

"It depends on how closely he looks," Hux said. When Ren looked stricken, Hux added kindly, "They look better already. Put your hood up and by the time you take it off, the bacta will have healed them enough."

Ren raised his cowl. It looked less menacing without the helmet, but that was probably a good thing in this case. It did fully cover the bruises. And Hux had been telling the truth: Han Solo wouldn't notice them unless he was looking. Then Ren straightened up, set his jaw, and the moment of tenderness was over.

"Remember your goal," Hux warned.

Ren tugged at his collar one more time, lowered the ramp, and walked out of the shuttle. Hux watched him go. It would be a miracle if this meeting didn't end with one—or both—of the father-son pair dead.


	6. Six: Ren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, I'm going to be posting a chapter every other day. I have the writing done, and I'm excited about sharing it, but I want to give readers (I think I have readers?) time to read the chapters.

Kylo Ren had not realized that delicious pain as a precursor to or deed during sexual activity would result in unpleasant pain when the act was over. Under normal circumstances, pain was good. Pain fed into the darkness inside him; pain gave him power. But these were not normal circumstances. He was meeting Han Solo—his father—and his goal was to convince his father of his remorse and his return to the Light. The pain just made things worse.

He stood in the middle of the grassy clearing in front of the castle and waited. He was still hungry. It seemed like days since he'd eaten, but he knew it had been only overnight. The rations weren't as filling as they were supposed to be.

He felt the gentle, cool breeze blowing off the lake, smelled the warm, outdoors air, and looked up at the blue sky. He was unaccustomed to life on a temperate planet now, though much of his youth had been spent on planets such as these. These last years it seemed he'd gone from one starship to another, with occasional forays onto ice planets or those covered in desert. He drew in another breath of real, warm air. He could live like this again, one little choice.

He was still reflecting on his surroundings, and trying not to think about his childhood, when he heard the Millennium Falcon. The ship landed near to him and he took another deep breath, steeling himself to be strong on the inside and weak on the outside. Snoke had cautioned him that meeting Han Solo would be his greatest test, and he hadn't known that circumstances would have changed. He couldn't have predicted that Ren would be playing a dangerous game. The word _test_ had taken on new meaning. And he knew, if he passed this test, an even harder one lay beyond.

The Millennium Falcon's ramp lowered and Han Solo walked slowly down. He looked different, grayer, sadder, and yet somehow still the same. Emotion bubbled up inside Ren and he tamped it down. This was not the time.

"Ben," Han said.

Anger arose inside of Ren. Good, good. Anger would keep him strong. But he was playing a part; he had to act like he meant it. His whole plan hinged on this meeting. "I haven't heard that name in years," he said. And he never wanted—had been forbidden—to hear it again.

Han came closer and reached out as if to clap him on the back, but didn't. "Why did you call me here, Ben? Maz said you needed to contact the Resistance."

"I've defected from the First Order and taken a prisoner, and together we can take down Snoke—me, the Resistance, my prisoner...you." Ren tried for sincerity, but it sounded wrong. It didn't sound like _him_ anymore.

Han laughed. His hazel eyes sparkled when he laughed. "You can't fool me, Ben. You're my son. I know you too well."

"If you knew me so well, you'd know that I couldn't lie about something like this," Ren said. Something twinged inside him. It was the possibility that he could be telling the truth. Right here, if he wanted to change sides, he could do it. But he didn't; he had to remember he didn't. "I know Mother wants me back. I'm ready to come home." Those two words, _mother_ and _home_ , stuck in his head. They were almost as forbidden to him as his given name was.

Something changed inside Han. Ren almost expected to see tears in his eyes, but Han kept himself under control. "Let me buy you a drink. We'll talk."

Ren searched for the darkness inside him, found it, clung to it. He was playing his part well; he had to remember that he was lying. He wished suddenly that he had Hux with him to keep him centered, tethered to the darkness. Alone...anything could happen. He didn't have to say anything, just follow his father once more into Maz Kanata's castle.

No one paid any attention to them as together they walked up to the counter. Han ordered a drink and waited for Ren. "I need—" Ren tried to recall what time of day it was "—something to eat."

"I know just what you need," Maz said. She poured Han his drink, took his money, and sent them off to a table in the corner. Han sat down and propped his feet up on an unoccupied chair. Casual arrogance, Ren should have expected it.

Ren expected questions, but Han started off with a hard one. "Were you involved in the destruction of the Republic?" he asked.

"I witnessed it, but I was not involved in the weapon," Ren said. He had known it would be fired and had done nothing to stop it. He had stood behind Hux—who had everything to do with the destruction of the Hosnian system—as the brilliant red light erupted from the core of the planet. And afterward...well, afterward didn't matter.

"Did you try to stop it?" Han asked.

"The weapon was the reason I defected. At the time of firing, I was still a part of the First Order. I did nothing to stop it. There was nothing I could have done. But knowing that a whole system of people was killed just for..." Ren trailed off. A good portion of what he'd said was true. "That changed everything."

Maz arrived with a plate of food: real meat, noodles, and gravy. Ren was too entranced by the smell to say anything; by the time he realized he should, she was gone. The meat was tender, cut easily by the side of his fork. He ate.

"Been a while since you've eaten?" Han asked, amusement clear in his tone.

Ren blinked, recalling where he was and whose company he was keeping. "Emergency rations aren't the same as real food," he said.

"Have you been on the run since your weapon was fired?" Han asked. He was focused now, the expression on his face one that Ren remembered from childhood. As he'd aged, that focus had less and less often fallen on him; he had resented that.

"It wasn't _my_ weapon," Ren said, trying to sound indignant. It seemed like the right thing to say. "But yes, just about, give or take a few hours."

"You'll have to regale us with the story."

Ren felt his face grow hot and knew he was blushing. If he needed to tell them a story, he would have to make up something. He pretended to be very interested in spreading gravy over the noodles. "Some other time."

Han smiled knowingly. Ren wondered what he was imagining he knew. "You really want to see your mother again?" he asked, thankfully changing the subject.

"I dreamt about her—and you," Ren said. The memory of the dream washed over him and filled him again with that feeling, that feeling he couldn't name or place. Or didn't want to. He did want to see her again. He wanted to touch her and find out if she was still so warm and soft, smell her and find out if she still smelled as sweet as he remembered.

No!

She had abandoned him. So had his father. And so had his uncle, Luke Skywalker.

"A good dream?" Han asked.

Ren focused on the pain in his neck. The bruises, the bite marks. They stung and ached. And then on the passion, the desire he'd felt when Hux had him up against the wall, and down on the floor. He had never felt such desperate passion. Pain and desire, both paths to darkness. "I was little," he said.

Han studied his face closely and Ren felt himself begin to perspire. "Take down your hood. I want to see you," Han said.

Oh no. Painfully conscious of the marks on his neck, Ren lowered his hood, but left the cowl bunched up around his neck. Letting Hux do that to him had been a foolish mistake, but it had felt so right at the time. "Do I look different? It's been...six years?" He had stopped counting. He was never going back to that life; it didn't matter exactly how long it had been.

"You still look like my son."

Ren breathed. He had made it through the difficult moment. If Han could see the bruises, he said nothing about them.

"What happened to your cheek?" Han asked, brushing his own cheekbone with his thumb. The intervening years had brought new creases to his face.

"I told you I took a prisoner," Ren said, as if that explained everything. Hux had assured him that the scratch would be gone in time, but it didn't matter. He had an explanation for that mark; it was the others he would have struggled to explain.

"What good is an unwilling prisoner going to do us?" Han asked.

Ren chewed and swallowed another bite before he answered. "I convinced him to help."

Han chuckled. " _Convinced_? With you, that word has always meant something different."

It was true. Ren's methods of convincing someone were rarely verbal. He used the Force and it worked well on most people. "I have him tied up at this time. When he's with me, if he causes trouble, I use the Force to keep him under control. He understands now. He's...grudgingly agreed to help us."

"Us," Han said with a smile. "Come to the Falcon. I'll take you to the Resistance base."

Ren shook his head. "I must take my own shuttle. It's important for my plan."

"Why would I tell you where the Resistance base was and then let you go?" Han asked. He frowned.

"Because I'm your son."

That hit hard. Ren felt it in his chest. He felt his eyes prickle. For a few seconds, he was Ben, Han Solo's son, and he felt the tension ease. No! He blinked and tore himself away from the thoughts. He was Kylo Ren. He was no one else. He had to stop his lip from twitching in disgust with himself.

Han looked at him for a long moment. Ren willed himself to look trustworthy. Han made his judgment. "Come outside and I'll tell you where the base is."

Ren bolted down the rest of the food—he wasn't about to leave without finishing his meal—and obediently followed Han out of the castle. He was so close. In a few minutes, he could retreat to his shuttle and collect himself. Being with Han was getting to him. It felt... Focus!

"We're on D'Qar," Han said. "It's a planet on the Outer Rim, in the Ileenium system."

Ren nodded. "I know where it is."

"Promise me you will come alone."

"Only my prisoner and I," Ren said.

Han had a strange expression on his face, but he walked back toward the Millennium Falcon. He trusted Ren—no, he trusted Ben.

Ren strode briskly toward his command shuttle. For the second time, he managed to be inside the shuttle with the ramp up before the emotions came out.

He sat down on the floor of the passenger compartment and wrapped his arms around his knees. He wanted to scream, but he didn't have the energy. "I can't do this," he moaned, pressing his forehead against his knees. "I can't!"

He couldn't deal with the way he felt, the emotions pulling him in opposite directions. One moment he had affection for his father, and the next he hated him. He needed to hate him. Hate was who he was now, hate and anger. But when he saw his father, the emotions within him became too turbulent to control. And his mother—what would he do when he saw his mother? He had loved her, despite her flaws, and now...love, hate, anger, fear, regret, remorse, confusion...pain. He hurt! He was being torn apart!

"I'm going to throw up," he said.

Hux knelt down next to him. "No, you're not," he said in a tone of exasperation. "Pull yourself together, Ren."

Ren released his legs to ease the compression on his chest and let himself breathe. He recalled something from his Jedi training, years ago: meditation. While his usual goal in meditation now was to bring together his anger and fear to give himself power, he didn't need power now. He remembered using Jedi meditation to clear his mind and he did need that. He pushed Hux away and crossed his legs and reached out to the Force.

It didn't work perfectly, but after a few minutes he was able to breathe normally and he had his body under control, though the tumult in his mind remained. He was exhausted, but he had no time for that.

"We're going to D'Qar in the Ileenium system," he said. He dragged his body off the floor and staggered toward the cockpit. They had to leave. He had promised Han Solo he would go; he couldn't be too late.


	7. Seven: Hux

Disturbed by the display he'd just witnessed, Armitage Hux sat in the cockpit of the command shuttle and gazed at the stretched stars of hyperspace. He had tried to trust Ren's ability to pull off this deception, but he doubted now that Ren could do it. And where did that leave him?

If he went back alone, it was likely that he could convince Snoke to let him live, but he had no way of getting back alone. Moreover, if he searched deep within himself, he found that he wanted the power he could achieve if this plan succeeded. No more _General_ Hux. He would be Grand Marshal Hux, or even Supreme Leader Hux. The gains from their possible victory were enough to convince him to pursue this doomed endeavor.

Ren looked better. The color had returned to his face. The hint of a purple bruise was visible at his collar, but everything else was covered, and Hux doubted anyone would notice. He certainly wasn't about to mention it to Ren.

"We need to plan," Hux said. "We need to know exactly what we're going to tell them and exactly how we're going to deceive them when we've accomplished our goal."

"I'll think of them when the time comes," Ren replied.

"When the time comes?" Hux echoed in disbelief. "I thought you knew what we were doing! You told me you had a plan!"

"I do, more or less," Ren replied.

Hux gritted his teeth. He couldn't believe this. Did he have to do everything? "Come up with one—now, before we get there," he said.

Ren rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "We get in. We—"

"How?" Hux interrupted. "No nebulous ' _we get in_ '. How _exactly_ do we get in?"

"We get the Resistance to pilot their starfighters and attack the Supremacy to distract them. We—"

"Who is _we_?" Hux interrupted.

"You and I and as many of the important Resistance leaders as we can convince," Ren said. "Leia Organa must come—and she'll want to. She'll want to take down Snoke personally. As I was saying, we get in. We get to Snoke's throne room. We kill him with Resistance help. And then we kill them. And if the Supremacy ends up destroyed by—"

"Destroyed?" echoed Hux in horror.

"The Resistance has some good pilots," Ren said. "If we ask them to distract, it may well go beyond distraction."

"Huh," Hux said. It sounded like Ren had more of a plan than he admitted. And he was acting much more put together than he had earlier. Perhaps when killing his parents was in theory, it was easier for him to believe that he could pull it off. It remained to be seen how well he handled once they met the Resistance—and his mother—face to face.

"Well?" Ren asked.

Hux nodded slowly. "What do we tell the Resistance?"

"Everything except for the end," Ren said. "We kill Snoke, and then we escape together. Mention possibly destroying the Supremacy. They have a pilot who'll like that."

"The one who escaped from you," Hux said smugly.

"That one." Ren scowled.

Hux would have to enhance their plan with the details he needed. He had quarters on the Supremacy, as did Ren, but he was not as familiar with the Mega-class Star Dreadnought as he was with his own ship or with Starkiller Base. With its wingspan of sixty kilometers and crew of over two million personnel, it would take years to become intimately familiar with the Supremacy, but Hux trusted his knowledge to be adequate. Their little group of assassins would risk a lot trying to sneak from a hangar to Snoke's throne room, and then there were Snoke's Elite Praetorian Guards to dispatch—not to mention Snoke himself.

What were their chances at success, really? They seemed infinitesimally small.

The shuttle dropped out of hyperspace and the Ileenium system came into view. D'Qar, surrounded by a planetary ring, looked green and brown from above. Ren found the settlement that was the Resistance headquarters and took the command shuttle down. It landed near a number of smaller craft, most of which were X-wings. Hux hated X-wings by default.

As Hux stood, Ren caught his arm. "You're my prisoner, remember."

Hux frowned. He knew what was coming.

"Do you want your hands tied in front of you or behind you?" Ren asked. "Most prisoners don't get the choice, but I'll let you decide."

"Your generosity is touching," Hux muttered. "Tie them in front of me." If they were tied in front, he would be able to sit down, should that be required, and he might be able to cut the cord again if necessary.

Ren looped the cord around Hux's waist, wrapped it around his wrists, and then bound his wrists to the loop at the level of his belt. The cord was tighter this time, more restricting. He probably wouldn't be able to undo it. He bit back a curse. It could be worse. "The cord is only for show," Ren said. "If I wanted you restrained, I'd use the Force."

"Then why—" Hux started, but Ren silenced him with a slap across his cheek.

"Quiet, prisoner," Ren said.

Hux seethed. He wanted to rub his stinging cheek. With anyone else, he would have wanted to return the slap, to show how it felt, but with Ren that would be an unwise idea. "You can't treat me like that," he said.

Ren didn't slap him again, but he did grab Hux's chin between his thumb and index finger. "I said, quiet, prisoner. You'll listen to me."

Hux hated that he was going to meet the Resistance _like this_.

When they stepped down the ramp, a semicircular group of people half-surrounded the command shuttle. Most of them had weapons drawn. Hux wished he had a blaster—and a free hand to hold it. But Ren, who had his lightsaber hanging from his belt, left it there. A wise decision. It was rare for Ren to be wise.

The group directly ahead parted and there stood the leader of the loathsome Resistance: General Leia Organa. Ren's mother.

Hux wanted to kill her now and get it over with. If he'd had any way to do so, he would have. He would have been killed immediately, of course; there were many of them and only one of him. But he was going to die anyway, so why not take the driving force behind the Resistance down before he did. He looked askance at Ren and strode down the ramp at his side, like an obedient prisoner. He hated this.

Ren managed a calm facial expression all the way down the ramp. As soon as he reached the bottom, Leia rushed forward and wrapped her arms around him. He jerked away, stepped backward, and almost fell over. Hux's instinct was to protect Ren, but there was nothing he could do. Breathing hard, Ren steadied himself.

Leia stepped back warily.

"I...I'm sorry, Mother," Ren said, shivering. "I'm not used to being hugged."

"Ben..." she said softly, as if all were forgiven.

Hux was so disgusted he wanted to spit, but he didn't. He'd had his own trials with family. He never had to face his again. He considered himself lucky.

Leia clasped Ren's hands in hers. He looked down, vulnerable, and Hux wished he could be back in the shuttle for this meeting, too. He was going to flinch at every sign of weakness. If Ren hadn't been able to handle meeting his father, then this meeting would result in either the same meltdown or surrender. Hux didn't want to be witness to either. He pondered whether he could steal the shuttle while they were distracted.

Then Ren tugged on his cord and said, "Mother, this is my prisoner, General Hux. Hux, this is General Leia Organa."

"Nice to meet you, General," Hux said deadpan.

Leia smiled at him. It wasn't a friendly smile. "Do you want us to detain your prisoner for you? We have a cell we could lock him in."

"I want to keep him in sight. Besides, he has information we need for the plan," Ren said. Hux didn't know whether he was relieved or disappointed.

"The plan, yes. Come into our command center and we can discuss."

Hux followed along a half-step behind Ren and gazed at the vegetation. They were on a paved path lined with X-wings and other light craft, but away from the path was lush jungle. Most of the buildings seemed to be sunken into the ground, perhaps for protection. They descended into one such building and stopped in a dim room with various types of technology scattered here and there. Hux would never have allowed such a mess in his own command center.

In the center of the room, a holographic map was projected. It was _the map_. The map that Ren and Hux and Snoke and who knew how many more officers and troopers of the First Order had been seeking. Right here. They had found Luke Skywalker.

Ren stared greedily at that map and Hux knew he was memorizing the lines and stars. When they were done here, and the Resistance had fallen, Ren would seek out and slaughter Luke Skywalker. Hux was sure of that.

He recognized several faces in the room. Aside from Leia, he saw Poe, the Resistance pilot who had escaped from Ren. Beside Poe stood FN-2187, who had taken a new name now, though Hux didn't know what it was. He looked around for _the girl_ , but he didn't even know what she looked like; she could be any of the young women here. These people were going to be his temporary allies. He would depend on them. And then he would kill them when they ceased to be useful. That was the way of things in war.

Leia turned off the map and looked at Ren and Hux. "Tell us your plan."

"We know the whereabouts of Supreme Leader Snoke," Ren said. Hux watched Leia for a sign of distaste and saw one in her frown. "He has his quarters and his throne room on the Mega-class Star Dreadnought Supremacy. If the Resistance can distract the Dreadnought, Hux and I can sneak you—a team of the best Resistance fighters—onto the ship and into Snoke's throne room. Together we take down Snoke's Praetorian Guard and Snoke himself."

"And then what?" Leia asked.

"I believe I know of someone who would like nothing better than to take down a Dreadnought," Ren said. He stared directly at Poe as he spoke.

Leia and Poe smiled at each other. "Poe will lead the team of starfighters," Leia said. "I'll join you and your prisoner in leading the team that gets Snoke. Han and Chewie can support Poe's team from the inside. You, prisoner, can you tell us the vulnerabilities of a Dreadnought?"

If someone called Hux prisoner one more time, he was going to snap. "I'm afraid you know more about destroying First Order ships than I do," he said coldly.

Ren yanked on his cord. Hux hoped that Ren was suffering more than he was.

"Because of its gargantuan size, a Star Dreadnought is weak at close range," Hux said. "You have a better chance if you fly in close. But don't bother trying to break in. We'll need Ren's command shuttle for that."

"When do we start?" Poe asked. Hux knew his type: arrogance, haste, risk-taking, bravado, flouting authority—all traits he trained out of his stormtroopers.

"Tomorrow, noon," Leia said. "Planning session at 0800."

This had no meaning to Hux, who didn't have any idea what time it was now. From the light outside, he would guess late afternoon. The transitions from a base with a standard day cycle to several different planets disoriented him. What he knew was that he was hungry and he was tired.

Leia asked, "Ben, and prisoner, would you like some dinner?"

Before Hux could say anything, Ren yanked hard on the cord. But then he surprised Hux by saying, "Call him Hux. Prisoner or not, he's part of the team."

Leia smiled at him with her mouth but not her eyes. "Would you like to join us for dinner?"

"Yes...General," Hux said, grudgingly adding the title. He was starving.

"I'm tired," Ren said, a tell-tale sign that something was wrong. Hux wasn't sure he should push Ren any further. Everything had gone smoothly so far, aside from his mistreatment. It might be time to quit and let Ren unwind. Still, he was dying for some food. Ren took a deep breath—another bad sign—and said, "But I'll join you for a little while so that Hux can eat."

With his wrists unbound temporarily, Hux vowed to eat fast. Keeping a wary eye on Ren, he devoured a thick, meaty soup and real bread and a sweet-and-sour effervescent juice. Food had never tasted better. But Ren, who ate only a few spoonfuls of soup, grew steadily paler. Hux knew he didn't have much longer until Ren...who knew what was going to happen this time? An explosion, a meltdown, those were possibilities. Whatever it was, he didn't want it to happen in public.

He elbowed Ren, who was staring dully at the table, and said, "I'm done. Let's go." He even offered his wrists to be tied up again. At least he knew now that he would be untied as soon as they were alone in the quarters Leia had offered. Ren had insisted that he keep Hux in sight at all times, which meant they were sharing quarters. Leia had ordered an extra bed, for which Hux was grateful. Otherwise he was sure he would have slept on the floor.

Ren bound Hux's wrists, not bothering to make the loop around his waist, and said to his mother, "Goodnight."

"Tomorrow, 0800," she repeated. "Guest quarters are at the end of the hall, on the left. Since you have a prisoner, we're posting a guard outside of the room. Just in case."

Ren mumbled something that might have been thanks. Hux walked with him down the long hallway and wondered if Ren might just collapse on the bed and fall asleep. With a guard posted outside their quarters, he hoped there would be no screaming involved.

Hux used his freer hands to open the door and lock it behind them. The quarters consisted of a single bedroom, with one bed on each side, and a walk-in refresher. "Are you going to...?" He attempted to gesture at the refresher. He would let Ren go first.

Ren sat down on the far bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "No" and collapsed backward onto the bed. He shut his eyes.

Hux breathed a sigh of relief and walked into the refresher. With some twisting of his wrists, he escaped from the cord and left it on the floor. He stripped off his clothes, folded them carefully, and found the shower was water, not sonic. He couldn't remember the last time he'd showered with real water. It was even hot water. He tipped his head back, shut his eyes, and let the water spill over him.

A sudden pain startled him out of his reverie and his eyes flew open. Ren was binding his wrists again. Hux blinked water out of his eyes. Ren had stripped to his undershirt and boxer brief underwear. So he was awake. His expression was dark, tired, but not exhausted, and not dull. Hux recalled that he was naked, but his wrists were tied too tightly for him to cover himself with his hands.

"Ren, what are you—?" he started to ask, but Ren pushed him back against the wall and knelt in front of him. Water spilled down on Ren's shoulder and back and Hux's hip, but Ren didn't seem to notice the water soaking his clothes. Gently, he gripped Hux's hips, thumbs on his pelvis, and pressed his lips to Hux's belly. "What..." Hux whispered, but gave up.

Ren kissed lower and lower until his lips were brushing across the copper nest of Hux's pubic hair. Hux shivered, despite the hot water. He kept waiting for the violence, the force, and its absence surprised him. He ached to be touched—like this, gently, not like what had happened in the shuttle. His erection was perking under Ren's lips. He wanted to bury his hands in Ren's tousled hair, but his wrists were bound palms up.

Ren stuck out his tongue and trailed it along the length of Hux's cock, from the base to the very tip. The soft, wet touch roused Hux to full hardness, and he saw Ren smile slightly. He made eye contact with Hux, held it, and engulfed Hux's whole cock in his mouth. "Fuck," Hux moaned. He saw a flicker of something, fear perhaps, or uncertainty, in Ren's brown eyes. Hux knew in that instant that Ren had never done this before.

"That's right. Keep going," he said encouragingly. "Just...bob your head. Uhh, like that." Ren had taken him in deep, tightened his lips, and started to bob his head up and down. He even swirled his tongue around. A quick learner. Hux grunted, panting, and struggled with his bound wrists. He wanted to touch, to hold, to caress.

Ren slowed down, taking his time, and explored with his fingers. He cupped Hux's balls, as if measuring their weight in his hands, and traced creases back and back and back. Hux didn't struggle, but he knew if he did it would make no difference. Ren had him tied up. He could take anything he wanted. Like this he was vulnerable. Ren could do anything to him.

Hux wanted more of the anything.

Ren swallowed around him, a drop of saliva spilling over his lips despite his effort, and Hux moaned, his hips twitching, trying to get more, faster. Ren's hands tightened around his hips, not allowing him to move—his hands were strong; he could break Hux in half if he wanted to—but he took the hint. He took Hux's cock in deeper, faster, harder.

Panting, Hux felt the orgasm building swiftly and he cried out with each pull of Ren's mouth. What was it with Ren and Hux's inability to last longer than a horny adolescent boy? "Slow! Down!" he cried, his breathing ragged. Perversely, Ren moved faster.

Hux didn't even have a chance to warn him. Bucking against Ren's steady palms, he came with a loud cry at the moment he was deepest in Ren's mouth. Startled, Ren made a face and turned away, come dripping down his chin. Hux dropped to his knees, saw Ren scrabbling at his own erection, and then he heard pounding on the door.

"Oh, shit," he muttered.

Ren wiped his face with his arm and padded barefoot, dripping wet, still half-hard, out of the refresher. Hux heard him open the door.

"What?" Ren asked.

"I thought I heard someone crying for help."

"I didn't hear anything."

"You weren't...shouting?"

"I was in the shower."

"In your...in your underwear?"

"It needed washing."

The door shut and Hux heard it lock. Ren returned to the refresher, unabashedly stripped off his underwear, and hung it up. Naked, he untied Hux's wrists and walked back into the bedroom. Hux peered out the door. Ren was curled up naked on top of the sheets.

Hux finished washing, dried with a towel, and went to bed. He set an alarm, wrapped himself in the sheet, and listened to Ren breathing on the other side of the room. Occasionally he drew in a shaky breath, as if he were crying. Embarrassed, Hux pulled the sheet over his ears and willed himself to fall asleep.


	8. Eight: Ren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank my reviewers. I hope you like this chapter! :)

The first thing Kylo Ren heard when he was blinking himself blearily awake was Hux. "You have come in your hair." Ren blinked some more. He was naked, tangled in the top sheet, and it took a moment before he remembered why he might have semen in his hair. Then it came back to him: after lying on the bed in so much pain he thought he would burst, he'd gone looking for a fight, but he'd found Hux naked instead. It had been a good distraction—he had slept afterward, though it had taken a while.

"Do you remember anything about last night?" Hux asked. He probably hoped the answer was no.

Ren sat up and tried to untangle the sheet. "I remember everything," he said. A pink blush tinged Hux's fair cheeks. "You taste...salty." He licked his lips in memory. He wished that the guard stationed outside the door hadn't interrupted before he'd gotten his fill. He almost teased Hux about being so loud, but he wasn't in the mood for teasing. He wondered what the guard had heard and seen—and how much of it had been reported to his mother.

His mother.

He stood up and stepped out of the tangled sheet and made his way swiftly to the refresher. Looking in the mirror, he saw the white smear at his hairline. The bruises on his neck were healing slowly; they were purple-yellow-green this morning. The bite marks looked much better, almost healed by the bacta. He washed and rinsed and went looking for his clothes. He wished he had a change of clothes, but he would have to do without for another day.

In less than a day, his life would have changed irrevocably. There would be no going back. Everything would be different and it would stay that way forever. He would be Supreme Leader and Hux Grand Marshal. Or he would be dead. Those were the choices. Something in the back of his mind produced a third option: give up this foolish quest and stay with his family. But no, that could never happen.

Dressing was a hassle with all the different layers of black cloth and the fasteners that held them together. When he was Supreme Leader, he'd wear something easier to put on and take off. He found himself eying Hux's uniform and pondering if something that simple would suit him. And then his mind strayed and he remembered the body that was concealed by that uniform. Pale and thin, but remarkably resilient. It was hard in all the right places and soft in others.

Hux scowled at him when he went for the cord that he'd been using to tie Hux's wrists. Ren almost didn't bother with the restraints—he was perfectly capable of controlling Hux with the Force—but he didn't want anyone to think that anything had changed overnight. "As soon as we depart for this mission, the cord comes off," he said.

Hux looked dubiously grateful.

Before he faced death, Ren wanted to replay the events of the night before, but with a different ending. They would begin in the refresher, and then stagger back into the bedroom and fall onto one of the beds together. Hux would do that thing with his tongue and they would have long, slow sex. Ren wouldn't die a virgin.

But since there wasn't enough time for that, Ren settled for surprising Hux with a kiss, which was well received. Hux lifted his chin to kiss him and when their lips parted, Ren saw Hux's blue-green eyes filled with some emotion. That was unusual. Ren wondered if Hux felt the same way he did, but he couldn't think about that now. That would come after their victory.

Clean, dressed, and ravenous, Ren returned to the mess hall with Hux at his side. They were half an hour before the meeting time, so there was the possibility of food. When he entered the mess hall, the good thing was that there was food. The bad was that his mother was there, too. Ren wasn't ready to face her again.

"How did you sleep?" Leia asked.

Ren wondered at the subtext. He would not have been embarrassed to be caught masturbating, but being caught fucking his prisoner—or worse, being fucked by his prisoner—would discredit him. "It was nice to sleep in a bed again," he said. It was the truth. Spending the night in a pilot's chair was a poor substitute for sleeping on a flat surface, particularly a bed.

"And you, prisoner?" Leia asked.

Ren knew that his mother didn't like Hux, and he knew and understood why, but he wished she would stop baiting him. If she wanted his help, she shouldn't be trying so hard to alienate him.

"Well," Hux said, enunciating clearly.

Ren served a bowl of oatmeal for himself and another for Hux. He found a table on the opposite side of the room from Leia and set down both bowls. He wasn't ready for conversation yet this morning, and particularly not small talk with his mother. He handed Hux a spoon and dug into his own oatmeal.

Hux glared at him for almost a full minute before he spoke. "Are you really going to make me eat with my wrists tied?"

"Yes," Ren said. "It's either that or I spoon-feed you myself."

Hux found a way to eat.

The time for the planning meeting came sooner than Ren would have liked. He wasn't comfortable anywhere close to Leia, but across the room was better. But then she swept them—Ren, Hux, Han, and some people he didn't recognize—back to the command center for further planning. Ren had planned enough. If he had his way, they would follow the plan and improvise when necessary, but Leia was more like Hux. He remembered her that way, even when he was very young.

At the center table, she projected a surprisingly accurate model of a Mega-class Star Dreadnought. Ren caught Hux scowling at the image, but Leia called him forward. "You know the Supremacy. Point out their external weapons systems so that Poe and his team know where to aim."

Ren was glad to make Hux look useful, so he stood back while Hux showed them turbolasers and ion cannons. Hux pointed out the hangar they would be using and gave them a general impression of where Snoke's throne room was. Without an internal map, it was impossible to be accurate, but he described it well enough.

Then it was Ren's turn. Leia called him forward. "Your prisoner told us how to get there. Now you tell us what we have to do once we get inside."

Ren bristled at being told what to do. He was willing to let Hux be guided and pushed around, but he resented the same being done to him. He focused; he wouldn't have to play this role much longer. "Snoke has an Elite Praetorian Guard of eight humans whose sole task is to protect him. He is a master of the Force. He can read minds like you can read books. There is no way to deceive Snoke. It's a matter of getting in, defeating the Guards, and slaying Snoke before he has time to think."

This was to be the hardest part of his plan with Hux. Once inside the throne room, they had several choices. The original plan was to let the Resistance help kill Snoke, and then kill them when it was over. But now Ren thought their best chance was to pretend to be delivering the Resistance leaders in order to redeem themselves, and then kill Snoke while he was distracted. He would have to find a moment to confer with Hux in private.

"There are eight guards and one Snoke, but the larger a group we try to sneak into the throne room, the harder it will be. We need a group of five or six, including Hux and me. Bring your strongest fighters and most determined leaders." Ren felt himself relaxing. This was his element. "General, that will include you. Han and Chewbacca will lead another team with two purposes: distraction and destruction. If the First Order has to think about defending itself from the outside _and_ the inside, my team will have an easier time reaching our goal."

"Rey has experience with First Order technology," Leia said. "Han, she's on your team. Poe, you'll be leading the assault from the outside. Use what the prisoner told you as a guide. But Poe...don't destroy the Dreadnought when we're still inside it."

"Yes, General," Poe said.

Leia put her arm lightly around Ren and everything inside him ground to a halt. _Let go of me! Don't touch me!_ He was shouting in his head, but his body stayed stiff and still. She was still warm and soft and she smelled just as sweet as he remembered.

What was he _doing_? He was crazy if he thought he could pull this off...any of it. There was no way he could keep lying to his parents. There was no way he could lead them in to kill Snoke. And there was certainly no way he could go through and...and kill his mother. He needed a mother. He belonged with her, with the Light. He should send Hux off—kill Hux, even—and stay here with his family. They wanted him. They needed him.

No, no, no! His family had abandoned him and he had become something more, something greater, someone stronger and more powerful. He exulted in the power of darkness. That day when he'd discovered Sith meditation had been like coming home. His home was with the First Order now. It was his destiny to rule the galaxy as Supreme Leader.

But Leia was his mother and Han was his father. Surely the bonds of family meant more. He could become a Jedi and use his power for good. He could find Luke Skywalker and bring back the last Jedi to train him. It was all possible if he made the choice. Maz had been right. He knew what was right. He was just afraid to choose it.

No, no! Maz _had_ been right. He knew that the darkness was the right choice and he was afraid to make that final commitment by killing his parents. Killing them would solve everything. Killing them would make everything right.

Love and belonging. Hatred and anger. Warm and soft and sweet. Fear and fury and power. Loyalty. Betrayal.

He felt yanking on his arm and then, "He just needs some air."And then he emerged into the bright sunlight and stood gasping.

"What the hell happened?" Hux shouted. Then he shook his head. "Don't tell me. Get yourself under control. And don't tell me you're going to throw up—you're not."

Ren shook his head, wiped his face, tried to slow his breathing. He needed some cold water. "Water," he whispered. His throat was sore. He wondered if he'd been screaming.

Hux shouted down the stairway, "We're going to get some water." Then he grabbed Ren's arm and dragged him toward the mess hall. He managed even with bound wrists. Ren was hazily impressed.

Inside the empty mess hall, Hux deposited Ren onto one of the benches and returned a minute later with a cup of ice water. Ren splashed some on his face and drank the rest. He felt the cold travel down his esophagus and fill his stomach. He needed to do the same with his emotions. Turn them cold. Turn them off. He wished he knew what to do.

"Remember your priorities, Ren," Hux whispered. "Remember who you are and why we're here. This was _your_ idea."

"Who I am!" Ren exploded. He threw the cup across the room. "Who _am_ I, Hux? Who? I don't know!" he yelled.

"Shh!" Hux grabbed his shoulder—"Damn this cord!"—and shook hard. He lowered his voice to a whisper again, "You need to make up your mind _now_."

Ren felt a crushing sensation in his chest. He was being torn apart. He remembered, suddenly, Snoke: "Even you, master of the Knights of Ren, have never faced such a test." And how had he replied?

"I will not be seduced," Ren whispered. He was calm. In the softest whisper, he told Hux about the two options he had developed. "We need to have a plan. What do you think?"

"We deliver them. When the time comes, you distract Snoke by killing the Resistance. I'll kill Snoke. He'd expect us to do it the other way around," Hux whispered. When Ren nodded, Hux got up from the bench. "You got your air and your water. It's time to go back."

"I'm ready," Ren said. And he was.


	9. Nine: Hux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my reviewers! :) I'm getting excited about the end. I hope you are, too.

Armitage Hux had serious misgivings about the plan ahead of him. Not only did he have doubts about the mental stability of his partner, but he also had doubts about whose side this partner would choose in the end. Something had happened in the mess hall. Hux didn't know what, but Ren had returned to a quiet version of his normal self. The rest of the planning session accomplished what needed to be done and no one mentioned Ren's meltdown.

Finally, it was noon and the time had come. Poe and his team were preparing their X-wings for the battle. Han Solo, Chewbacca, Rey, and FN-2187 were loading explosives and other equipment into Ren's command shuttle. They would all be entering the Supremacy's hangar in that. Leia and three others—whose names Hux didn't know and didn't care to learn—were gathering their weapons and discussing last-minute plans.

In front of everyone, Ren cut the cord binding Hux's wrists. Hux hoped it was symbolism: the cutting let him know that he wouldn't be tied up again, and doing so in front of everyone showed Ren's trust in him. Or maybe he was imagining all of that.

"I need a blaster," Hux said to Leia.

She ignored him.

"He needs a blaster," Ren said.

Grudgingly, Leia handed a blaster pistol to Ren, who handed it to Hux. He inspected it. The blaster was not bad, a nice model, but not as good as his personal blaster. He didn't tell her that. In fact, he forced out, "Thanks." He had no holster, so he tucked the pistol into his belt.

"Do you trust your prisoner with your life?" Leia asked Ren. "How do you know he won't turn on us the moment we board the Supremacy?"

Why was she bringing this up now? It was foolish for her to have made plans, and only now started asking these questions. She probably was trying to test him. He would play his part now, no matter what it took, and have his revenge later. "I have just as much reason as you to want Snoke dead." Hux tried to sound reassuring.

Leia ignored him.

"It's true," Ren said. "The First Order needs leaders who will compromise with the Resistance."

"This man destroyed the New Republic!" Leia snapped.

"And I learned my lesson," Hux said.

She continued to ignore him.

"He regrets it and wants to do what he can to make things right," Ren said.

Leia gave him a skeptical look.

"Besides, he has me controlled by the Force. There's no way I can do anything he doesn't want me to do," Hux said. "The cords were for show."

Leia wasn't even looking at him.

Seething, Hux took deep breaths and commanded himself to behave.

Ren sighed. "I'm using the Force to make sure he doesn't misbehave."

Leia paused. "I trust you."

As the group was boarding the command shuttle and settling into the passenger compartment, Ren leaned in close and whispered, "You'll be rewarded for not shooting her back there." And then he climbed into the cockpit and sat down with Hux at his side. He entered the coordinates for the Supremacy's location and the shuttle took off.

The tension was palpable. Hux was fortunately away from most of it. This experience was different from his prior battles. He had been the general, standing back and making sure everyone else did his or her job. He was never on the front lines. He trained his personnel, made sure they did everything right, and thus won most of the battles in which his side had participated. Here was different. He was the front line. He had done his standing back and planning, his general work, and now he was doing the work of his subordinates—the sneaking, the hand-to-hand or weapon-to-weapon combat. He would be doing battle, face-to-face. He would feel like Ren.

The timing was perfect. The command shuttle left hyperspace shortly after the X-wings did. The X-wings were beginning their first run, firing on the Star Dreadnought in all the places Hux had told them, and the command shuttle entered the otherwise empty hangar neatly without drawing any notice. The big uncertainty in Hux's mind was which side would win and how long victory or defeat would take. At this moment, he wasn't even sure which side's success would be victory in his mind. Ultimately the First Order would prevail, but they may or may not lose their flagship in the process.

Debarking from the shuttle, Hux pointed the distraction-and-destruction team led by Han and Chewbacca in the direction where they would cause the most trouble. "Take out their weaponry from the inside," he said. That was where they would be most dangerous—and most in danger. If they died in the process, all the better.

Unable to resist, Hux took charge. "I know the way to the throne room. Our first priority is to sneak. Blaster fire will draw attention. Killing will leave a trail behind us. There are places to hide while patrols go by—and most of them will not be looking for us. They'll be looking for Han's team. Sneak. Understood?"

Leia finally seemed to have accepted him as a leader—a small miracle. Determined to prove that her trust in him was well-placed—at least until it was time to kill her—he accepted her and her team's confirmation and moved out.

The biggest reason to sneak was that their appearances would be troublesome for two different reasons. The Resistance fighters would be recognized as Resistance and therefore killed on sight. Hux and Ren would be recognized as traitors and Snoke would be alerted to their presence—if they weren't also killed on sight. Hux didn't know how much the general First Order population knew about his and Ren's departure.

He led the team out of the hangar and into one of the long corridors that stretched a portion of the length of the Supremacy. This corridor would take them where they wanted to go, but there was little to conceal them should a patrol walk by—which, moments later, one did. And there was nowhere to hide. Disgusted—if this was their luck, they would never make it even halfway to the throne room—Hux raised his blaster pistol and fired.

The bolts were blue. And the blaster bolts the stormtroopers fired back were the customary red. Hux personally took down half of the group of eight. Leia took down three; one of her team shot the eighth. Ren, who had no blaster, simply blocked the bolts with his lightsaber. Hux wished for his reflexes.

"They know we're here now," Hux announced when the white-armored troopers lay dead in front of them. "Now we take the back way. And we run."

He led them into a shorter, narrower, less-used corridor with multiple doorways on each side. The doorways opened into rooms that were rarely used and their outlines provided adequate places to conceal oneself. And they ran, Hux listening closely for any sounds other than their six pairs of heavy boots on the floor. Twice he heard something, turned, and shot without looking at whom he was killing. It didn't matter now. This was the way of a battle. Kill or be killed.

The Supremacy had a sixty-kilometer wingspan, so they could have had a very long run, but Hux kept the distance to about half a kilometer. It was almost a five-minute run, but Hux could have done it in half that time if he'd been alone. Twice more he heard heavy footfalls in a perpendicular corridor—running, he noted, in the direction he'd sent Han's team—and they were able to conceal themselves instead of killing witnesses.

The last time, Hux didn't hear a thing until a blaster bolt felled the Resistance fighter who had been running at his side. He stopped—their whole group did—and turned to see a trio of not mere stormtroopers, but officers. Hux recognized two of them and he knew from the way they looked at him that they recognized him as well.

"General!" one of the officers said, holding his blaster steady. "Are you aiding the Resistance?"

This was his chance. In this moment, he could resolve everything with a single word: "No." He could turn ahead of plan on these people who were supposed to be his allies, kill them now, kill Kylo Ren, and pretend that nothing undue had occurred. All would be right again. It would only take a single word.

But if he turned on them now, if he killed them now, he would never have the chance to become Supreme Leader, or even Grand Marshal Hux. He would continue to be bullied by Snoke. He might not even be forgiven for his transgressions. Everything would be the same, yes, but in truth did he _want_ things to be the same?

Hux wanted power; he always had. After the weapon fired, he had taken down the Republic; he had become master of the galaxy. But there was still one person with a higher rank, and that was Snoke. If he truly wanted to reign supreme, he would have to rid himself of that one person, and he would have no other chance to achieve that. This foolhardy plan would either kill him or give him the power he had craved.

Would he risk death for the power?

Hux debated. Blaster in hand, he turned away from the officers to face his current allies. He could kill them all now. He _should_ kill them all now. He would be a fool—more of a fool—to let them live now. But no. He turned back. The people who mattered would accept his decision when the time came to tell them.

In mere seconds, he made his decision: He would take the power. Much as he didn't want to kill any more of his own people, that was the easiest path. He raised his own blaster, winced as he took a bolt to the left elbow, and fired. He missed, but behind him two of the Resistance fighters took down the officers.

"Are you aiding the Resistance, General?" Leia echoed. She was harassing him again. Or perhaps she knew what he had been thinking in his moments of hesitation. It didn't matter; she was already dead to him.

Hux looked down at his bloody elbow, flexed his fingers, and deemed his condition inconvenient but workable. "Keep going," he said, breathing hard. "We're almost there." He wished he knew what was going on outside, but there was no way to find out, save going to a window. He hadn't heard any explosions yet.

Running again, they came to the final turn that would lead them to Snoke's throne room—if they turned right. A left turn would take them eventually into what was more or less an officers' lounge. Hux paused there, looked right, looked left. He wanted the power—he needed the power—and yet...somehow the temptation stuck with him. The team of Resistance fighters behind him was getting restless, and Hux knew he had to make the correct decision. He had dedicated himself to taking down Snoke and the Resistance, but his duty—and Hux had dedicated his life to duty—was to take down the Resistance and save Snoke.

"Which way?" Leia demanded.

Hux met Ren's gaze and Ren nodded almost imperceptibly. "Right," Hux said. If Ren could be strong for this, Hux could too. He just had to remember what he was risking and what he had to gain. At the end of this, he would have more power than he could have dreamed of having. He took off running again and the others followed.

Another minute and they stood outside the doors to Snoke's throne room. Hux wondered if Snoke knew they were coming. It was possible, maybe even likely, that he had heard—or just known through the Force. "We have to move fast when we're inside," he said. He turned to Ren, who hadn't spoken since the shuttle docked in the hangar, and hoped silently that Ren was ready for this. Their success hinged on Ren—not just killing his mother, but also being able to kill his mentor, his master, Snoke, if Hux could not.

Hux reached out with his good arm and awkwardly patted Ren's shoulder. Knowing that Ren could delve into minds using the Force, Hux thought at him, " _You can do this. You have to do this_." He would have to trust Ren. If Ren failed, they would all die.

Hux wasn't ready to die.

He took a deep breath and reached for the door.


	10. Ten: Ren

Kylo Ren willed his stomach to return to its usual place as he barged into Supreme Leader Snoke's throne room. Directly behind him was his mother, Leia Organa, and behind her, two Resistance fighters. At the back, General Hux was in place so that none of them could escape. It was time for their plan to change, but he had to stop thinking that. He had to distract himself and Snoke. He could try to close off his mind, but Snoke could find his way in if he was interested.

"Supreme Leader," Ren said with due deference. "We have brought you the leader of the Resistance."

Leia and the two surviving Resistance fighters greedily raised their blasters. Ren reached out and wrenched the blaster from his mother's grip. He heard a bone in her wrist snap. He didn't wince; he could show no weakness. Snoke used the Force to snatch away the blasters from the other two and raised them into the air by their necks. Leia he left alone.

"Ben, my son..." she pleaded. He saw into her mind. She had believed him. Now it was as if she were losing him for the first time...again.

"That's not my name," he snapped. The name was forbidden to be spoken and he never wanted to hear it again. "And your son is gone."

"Why did you bring her to me?" Snoke asked.

"I thought that destroying the Resistance—the one thing you hate most—would repay you for my errors at Takodana," Ren said. He wanted to stay as close to the truth as possible. He tried not to look at his mother, to focus on Snoke, but his eyes kept wandering. He couldn't lose his focus, not now.

"I would have been satisfied with her death," Snoke said. He looked at Ren as though he could see through him.

Ren raised barriers in his mind, but he knew that Snoke could break them down. He would distract him. He had to distract him long enough to—no, stop. "You'll get her death," he said. "Right in front of you, right now." He hoped that Snoke would find that a more appealing prospect, that watching the murder of his greatest enemy would please him.

Snoke folded his hands on his lap and waited. It was better than nothing.

"Ben..." she pleaded again. "I know you. I've known you since the moment you were born. Before that, in my womb. This is not who you are. You know that. I know that. Please...don't do this. It will haunt you forever if you do." How disgustingly sentimental, and yet it had an effect on him. He fought it.

"I don't have a choice," Ren said. He didn't look at Hux; he didn't even know where Hux was. He could see Snoke, watching him. He could see his mother, begging him. He had been so determined, told himself over and over that he would just do this when the time came, and yet...the time had come. "You're going to die even if _I_ don't kill you."

"No, our plan—there's still time!" she said.

"There was never a plan," Ren said. He felt a prickle in his eyes. He would not cry!

"I don't believe it," she said.

"I brought you here to die so that I could redeem myself for—for making a mistake," he said. "That's the plan. That's always been the plan." It sounded selfish. It was the ultimate in selfishness; he had to know that and he had to accept that—as his true nature.

She gazed at him, calm even facing death. He felt a sliver calmer just looking at her. On each side of her, the hanging Resistance fighters died of strangulation. She must have felt it—he did—but she showed no sign.

Snoke was watching with disdain, but he didn't interrupt.

"Do you remember your blanket forts?" Leia asked lightly.

Yes...he had never felt safer than when he was covered by a blanket. He remembered the dream he'd had, of being cuddled between his parents with a blanket covering him and their strong backs guarding him. That moment, even though both of his parents had been asleep, he had never been more loved.

He remembered love, the way it felt inside him, building him up whereas fear tore him down. He had been afraid of losing them, afraid of being abandoned, but love had overpowered the fear. When had the fear overtaken the love? When had he lost the ability to love? Was it something he could ever get back?

The world was spinning around him. He shut his eyes. Do it quickly! All he had to do was kill her; that would end it. That would end everything.

_Everything_. Killing her would mean the end of Ben—a good thing; he needed to be rid of Ben completely, forever—and the end of all the light inside him. Those few emotions that the light side of the Force allowed would be gone to him forever: honor, justice, compassion, everything that was right. All that would be left was darkness. He would suffer through a life filled with anger and hatred and fear and desire that could never be sated. He would have power. Was the power worth it?

He opened his eyes and saw Hux. Desire—for everything that he could have and everything he could never have—filled him. There was only one choice: darkness. He ignited his lightsaber and raised it to kill. But before he could bring the jagged blade across, Hux fired two blaster bolts at Leia's head and killed her.

For half a second their eyes met, and Ren saw that Hux had failed to kill Snoke even given ample opportunity, and he knew why. In the same motion he would have used to kill Leia, Ren flung his lightsaber at Snoke and severed his head. At this, the eight Praetorian Guards came alive.

Ren, whose first error was needing to avoid attack while he scrambled for a weapon, had not predicted that the crimson armor worn by the guards would deflect blaster fire. Hux couldn't help him, and without his lightsaber—currently located in the vicinity of Snoke's throne—he was vulnerable. The first guard to come at him, Ren swiped his foot out, caught the guard off balance, and grabbed the weapon out of the guard's grip. It was two vibro-arbir blades, joined together in a double-bladed sword. No lightsaber, but it would suffice.

His second error was not knowing the strength of the guards' armor. Even the glancing blow of his new blade bounced off the armor; only a direct thrust would penetrate. His third error was that he had not anticipated the different melee weapons the guards would be carrying. A strategy for fighting one wouldn't work on all the others. So many errors. He really hadn't thought this through at all.

He had never fought a harder battle. He ducked and lunged and thrust and parried. He fought off three guards at once. The separable blades helped, but it required effort to learn a new weapon. The second he took down carried a vibro-voulge, a blade-tipped staff, which he tossed to Hux, but he couldn't get distracted. Their weapons cut through his robes and into his flesh. He bled; blood dripped down his arm and his side. Hux didn't take down even one, though he caught their attention and gave Ren a chance to breathe. And finally, the eighth guard—the last surviving—made a brutal slash and opened a gash across Ren's cheek. He staggered backward and dropped his vibro-sword. It rolled across the floor. He shut his eyes and when he opened them, the eighth guard stood over him with weapon poised to kill. And then, suddenly, the guard collapsed, stabbed through the chest with Ren's lightsaber—held by Armitage Hux.

Hux put away the lightsaber and offered his hand to Ren. "We'd better get out of here. Those X-wing pilots are damn persistent and I gave them real information on destroying a Star Dreadnought."

Ren accepted the hand and carefully pulled himself upright. He was out of breath and exhausted and blood was flowing down his cheek, but he didn't have time to think about that. If he stopped to think, his mind would start spinning and his body would fail him and he couldn't have either of those happen. "What do we do now?" he asked. He already knew the answer. "We lie. We go to the bridge and we lie."

"But first priority is the attack. We need to make sure they take down the X-wings and the distract-and-destroy team. I know where to send them." Hux bent down and tore a piece of cloth from the shirt of one of the dead Resistance fighters; he held it out to Ren. "Put this on your face to stanch the bleeding until we can get it sewn up."

Ren wadded up the cloth and held it against his face. He couldn't risk losing too much blood. He had to keep his mind clear and capable. Leaving the bodies behind, he followed Hux out of the throne room and into the corridor. Even though his body was tired, his mind was abuzz. He felt powerful. He had never felt more powerful than he did in this moment. There was one thing left for him to do.

"We need to find Han Solo first," he said.

"I know where to find him," Hux said.

They jogged down one of the major corridors. Ren knew he was running on adrenaline and it wasn't going to last forever. He focused on the pain. He got power from the pain; he reveled in the pain. That was what he had now.

They found Han and his team setting explosives in a large, open room. Han was on the main floor. Chewbacca was on a catwalk up above. Presumably Rey was somewhere, though Ren couldn't see her from where he stood. "Father!" he shouted.

Han looked at him and his face softened. Then he looked puzzled. He was wondering where Leia was. He loved her, even if he hated to admit it. He would be sorry to live on without her. Ren thought that these thoughts would make his next deed easier, but they made no difference. His emotions had shut down completely when he had killed his mother—had been ready to kill his mother—and he wasn't sure if they would ever come back. Certainly they wouldn't come back the same.

Ren didn't give his father time to wonder. He didn't give himself too much time to think either, although he was certain he would have made the same decision if he had. He stood a step through the doorway and waited for his father to come to him. He saw the expressions on Han's face: puzzlement, confusion, worry, love. His father loved him. He didn't know the truth yet, and he never would know. He would die unaware that his wife had gone before him—and that the same person had slain them both.

Han came up to him and laid his hands on Ren's shoulders. But there was nothing he could do. The choice was already made. Ren ignited his lightsaber and cut his father down. A thrill of power coursed through him. But he didn't stay to fight, didn't bother to take down Chewbacca or Rey or whoever else would want to kill him now.

He had to get to the bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I imagine you're about ready to kill me, I'll just add that you get two more aftermath chapters instead of one.


	11. Eleven: Hux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First aftermath chapter. Just one to go! Thanks to my reviewers! <3

As he and Ren took the lift up, Hux's mind churned with possibilities. He didn't want to think about any of them. He didn't want to think about what had just happened—and what hadn't just happened. None of these thoughts would help him. He refused to think them. Moreover, those feelings that crept up on him, he refused to feel those. Maybe someday he would examine them in great detail—that was what he preferred to do with irrational feelings—but not now.

He was back in his element now. He felt more like himself already and he felt comfortable for the first time in days. Now that he was back, he could solve his problems the usual way: busying himself with getting things done.

Beside him, Ren was silent. Hux was concerned about him. Not about his emotional state, which he knew must be abysmal at the moment, but about his physical one. The gash was across his right cheek parallel to the line of his jaw. Blood had soaked the rag that Ren was pressing against the wound to stem the bleeding and blood was dripping down his face and his hand. His skin was several shades paler than usual. He would need to be delivered to medbay soon.

They stepped grandly onto the bridge. Well, Hux stepped grandly; Ren sort of trudged. The bridge was a whirl of activity. From here, Hux was finally able to see what was going on outside of the Supremacy. The X-wings were still out there, swooping in and out to attack the weapons systems of the Star Dreadnought. Hux, who had told them where to aim their fire, knew their strategy. And he swiftly pointed this out. Fortunately, there had been no disabling damage.

"Send a squadron of stormtroopers down to A-36," Hux ordered. "You'll find a small group of Resistance fighters."

"Yes, sir!" One of the officers on the bridge got to work on that task.

Meanwhile, it seemed that the rest of the bridge officers were slowly realizing that something was different. They weren't used to Hux taking command on the bridge, of course, but it was more than that. They knew something. Hux didn't know what or how much, but he could see it on their faces.

"What happened?" asked one. "We heard...rumors."

Hux willed Ren to stay quiet and let him handle this one. "We went on an unexpected mission," Hux explained. "When we returned, we found a band of Resistance fighters, who had broken into Snoke's throne room. They slew him and his Guard. Ren and I were able to kill those who remained alive."

"Snoke...is dead?" someone asked very softly. "Who's Supreme Leader now?"

Ren was looking a little wobbly, and Hux appreciated this excuse to put off that question until later. He would have to discuss—that meant fight about—it with Ren, and do so in private, not in front of his officers. "I'll address that matter in an upcoming briefing," Hux said. "Right now, Kylo Ren needs medical attention. I expect to see those X-wings destroyed and the intruders killed by the time I return."

They took the lift down and down. Ren was visibly flagging. Dried blood had crusted on his neck and hand, and more fresh blood flowed down over it. Hux wasn't sure if his behavior was due to exhaustion or loss of blood or some of both. Regardless, they couldn't get to medbay soon enough.

The droids were treating other patients when Hux and Ren entered medbay, but by virtue of their rank, they were a higher priority. A droid tried to usher Ren away from Hux, but Hux refused. "I must stay with him," he said. He hoped that Ren wouldn't object, and he didn't. Hux wasn't sure when he had last heard Ren speak, but it had been some time.

They were taken into a cubicle near the back, where there was more privacy. The cubicle contained a bed, two chairs, and an assortment of medical equipment.

"Please remove your upper garments so that your injuries can be treated," the droid said cheerily, before Ren had a chance to sit down.

Ren complied, wincing and gritting his teeth as he removed his robes and his undershirt. Even with the injuries, Hux found his physique attractive. He couldn't look away without it being obvious why, so he gazed mildly at Ren's injuries. His upper left arm had been cut by one of the guards' weapons; a similar injury, probably from the same weapon, marred his left side.

Hux looked down at his left elbow. The injury was minor, but he would get it patched up before they left medbay. He sat down in one of the chairs. He didn't want to leave Ren alone. It wasn't compassion. He needed to monitor whatever Ren said so their stories would match up later. Although, at this point, Ren hadn't uttered a word.

A different droid came in. This one looked like the stereotypical nurse. She removed the rag from the oozing wound on Ren's cheek and cleaned the wound. "Local anesthetic for the sutures?" she asked.

Ren shook his head.

With delicate stitches, the droid sutured the wound closed. Ren didn't flinch. Hux had to look away occasionally to steel himself against the tug of needle on flesh. He wasn't usually squeamish, but this got him. He might have taken it better, actually, if Ren had reacted to it. Ren's face was slack, his eyes unfocused, but his breathing was deep and steady. He'd be all right physically. Emotionally...Hux wasn't so sure.

The droid applied bacta and bandages to the two other wounds and bacta to the sutured area. "Good as new!" she chirped. Ren kicked her, but not hard. She cared for Hux's elbow as well, prescribed rest and hydration, and sent them on their way.

"Let me take you to your quarters," Hux said. "We need to talk." Ren's quarters aboard the Supremacy would be an excellent location for the conversation they needed to have. No one would give it a second thought if yelling were heard from inside the room. Hux wasn't sure there would be yelling, but he wasn't sure there wouldn't be either.

Ren's quarters were small and sparse. Hux shared Ren's disdain for decorative material items, but he had a few modifications wherever he stayed. Ren had none. There was no sign that the room had ever been occupied except that the bed was a mess, not perfect the way Hux's would be.

Ren went immediately into the bedroom, pulled off his robes, and lay down on the bed. Apparently he was taking the droid's advice. That was good. Hux wouldn't have, but Ren had suffered injuries beyond just the physical. Hux had a flicker of a desire to make him soup, but he disregarded that idea.

"We need to talk about who becomes Supreme Leader now," Hux said. He looked for a chair, found none, and perched on the edge of the bed.

Ren sighed.

"If that's your attitude, then we don't need to talk. I'll be Supreme Leader and you'll be...I don't even know what you'll be," Hux said irritably. He didn't appreciate Ren's silence when this was an important matter. The decision must be made by the time he held the briefing and he intended to hold the briefing as soon as he could arrange for everyone important to be present.

"I felt powerful," Ren whispered. "So powerful. And then it all...it all went away. I don't know what's left. I don't know if what's left can be Supreme Leader. I feel nothing inside."

Hux didn't know what he had expected, but it wasn't that. He didn't know what to say. "Then you don't _mind_ if I become Supreme Leader?" he asked.

Ren raised his head off the pillow. "I didn't say that."

"It sounded like that's what you said."

Ren shook his head and laid it back down on the pillow. "We should consider what's fair. Who killed Snoke? And who killed all eight of those Praetorian Guards?"

Hux felt his face flush. He didn't want to think about that. He would have to lie about what happened to everyone else, who hadn't been there. There was no reason for him to dwell on the truth now. "You know what else we should consider? Loyalty."

Ren scowled. "The whole point was to deceive the Resistance and kill Snoke. I followed through on my part exactly as planned."

"Not quite," Hux interjected. "I killed Leia."

"I was about to kill her. You just interfered," Ren said. "Your task was to kill Snoke, and if you recall, I killed Snoke."

"I remembered my priorities. My alliance was with the First Order the entire time. Your alliance is a fickle thing. The whole time we were with the Resistance, I had to wonder: whose side is Ren going to take when the moment comes?"

"You didn't have to wonder. You just had to wait," Ren said. "And if you'll notice, I took the side I promised you I'd take. You were disloyal to me."

"You were disloyal to the First Order!" Hux snapped.

"So were you! You gave the Resistance real information about taking down a Star Dreadnought," Ren returned. And he was right, but Hux's disloyalty was so small in scale compared to Ren's. In the end, he had remembered his duty, and Ren had thrown away everything.

"I knew they couldn't destroy it with a couple of X-wings," Hux said. "Besides, we're getting off topic. We should be deciding who'll succeed Snoke as Supreme Leader."

Ren shut his eyes for a few seconds, and then opened them. They were a darker brown than Hux remembered, though he didn't recall ever noticing exactly what shade of brown Ren's eyes were. Hux was pleased that the helmet was gone and he hoped Ren didn't choose to retrieve it. Even with the stitches, he was attractive.

"When I am recovered, I shall be Supreme Leader," Ren declared.

"How long is this recovery going to take, and who will be Supreme Leader in your stead while you're recovering?" Hux asked. He had no intention of giving in.

"Give me a day," Ren said. He sounded smug. He would have to do a lot of recovering in a single day to bring himself up to fighting condition. He was probably bragging about his resilience.

Hux huffed. This was never going to work. Neither of them was going to give in.

"Don't you want to be Grand Marshal Hux?" Ren asked.

"I do," Hux admitted. "But you would still have a position higher than mine. The title of Grand Marshal isn't the same as Supreme Leader."

Ren propped himself up on his elbows. "It could be."

Hux's eyes widened. Was Ren implying what Hux thought he was?

"We don't work in the same realms anyway. We could divide responsibilities and privileges. You have power there; I have power here," Ren said.

"That sounds like what Snoke forced us to do," Hux said.

"We'd do it our own way." Ren was sitting up now, looking interested and earnest.

Hux couldn't believe it was Ren who had suggested this. It sounded like a plan he would have developed—diplomacy and such. It also sounded potentially feasible. It would take a complicated agreement, drawn up to specify whose power reached which places, but he was capable of drafting such a plan. "Grand Marshal Hux and Supreme Leader Ren," he said, tasting the words. "We'll try it. If it doesn't work, we'll have this discussion all over again."

"It will work," Ren said. He dropped back onto the bed. "I need sleep. We can start drafting our agreement tomorrow."

Hux wouldn't mind some rest as well. He stood from the bed. "I'll contact you for our first meeting in the morning." He paused. "Goodnight."

As he meandered back to his quarters, his mind ventured into the events of last night. It seemed years ago that they had shared those quarters at the Resistance base, but he remembered it well. He had been in the shower, that glorious hot water, and Ren had come in and spontaneously put his mouth on him. Hux would like that to happen again, that and a lot more, but he doubted that it would.

He stepped into his refresher for a sonic shower. He wanted to slip into bed, even though it was only early evening, but he had a briefing to hold. Then he would eat dinner. And then, finally, go to bed.


	12. Twelve: Ren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we've finally come to the end. I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I have writing it. :)

Kylo Ren felt like shit.

His body ached from the exertion of the fighting. His arm and side wounds still stung, but the bacta had done its work, and they didn't hurt anymore. His face was another story. It hurt. He had used the pain as a focal point of his meditation when he'd awakened in the middle of the night and been unable to turn off his thoughts. It had been very effective then; not so much anymore.

As for his mind, he wasn't sure. Sometime in the middle of the night, his ability to feel had returned. He had awakened in tears for the deaths of his mother and father, but then his rational mind had clicked on. He had analyzed his emotions and justified his actions. He had made the right decision, though it might not always feel that way. The meditation had helped with his mind, but there was no real resolution. That would take time.

It was past time for him to report to duty. Usually by now he would have worked out at the gym, gotten dressed, eaten breakfast, and gone off to work on whatever project his focus was. Even on the Supremacy, he could have completed those tasks. He was still in bed. He wasn't hungry and his stomach didn't feel up to eating anyway. So he moped, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling, and tried desperately not to think.

One familiar thought returned. He had all he needed to hunt down Luke Skywalker. And what would he do with Luke? Kill him. That was a theme. Blood relatives? Kill them! Never mind that it had been his single-minded goal for months; that little voice taunted him. How did he deal with people he didn't like? He killed them. And people he was supposed to love?

He moaned and shook his head.

His door chimed. The sound caught his attention and he wondered who was out there. No, he knew who it was. The same person who had paged him repeatedly all morning. Hux was coming to harass him about something. He had promised to be recovered in a day and it wasn't looking good. He ignored the chime. He also ignored it the second and third times. He didn't want company. He wanted to be miserable alone.

There was a soft sound and the door opened. Curse Hux for being high-ranking enough to gain access to any door he desired. Ren could see the door from his bed, but he pretended not to notice that it had just opened to admit Hux. He was carrying a bag of some sort, but Ren couldn't tell what was in it.

Hux entered the bedroom and seated himself on the edge of the bed. He set down the bag where Ren couldn't see it, but he could smell food. "Sit up," Hux said. He sounded irritable, snippy. He was probably upset because Ren had ignored him for so long.

"I don't want to," Ren whined. He was regressing into childlike behaviors. Not a good sign.

"Sit _up_ ," Hux said again with an edge to his voice.

Ren sat up. He expected Hux to ask him how he was feeling, but fortunately he didn't. Instead, Hux opened a small tube of ointment and reached for Ren's face. He gently smeared a layer of cool ointment over the sutured cut and the area around it. Numbness developed under the ointment. "What's that?" Ren asked.

"Lidocaine." Hux put away the tube and picked up a covered bowl from the bag. He produced a spoon and removed the lid from the bowl to reveal noodle soup. Thrusting the bowl and spoon at Ren, he said, "Here. Eat."

Ren, recalling being treated with noodle soup when he was an ill child, almost refused the bowl because of the memories it stirred. But it had soothed him then, so perhaps it would soothe him now. He took the bowl and looked down at it. "Why are you doing this?" he asked. It was as if Hux cared about him.

"We need to display a united front, and if you're in bed and refusing to eat, that reflects badly on me—on both of us," Hux said. "Now eat or I'll feed you myself."

Ren couldn't tell if he was relieved or disappointed. He scooped up a spoonful of broth and brought it to his mouth. He swallowed, paused, and decided he liked the feeling of something in his stomach. "I can't believe I did it," he said, words spilling unchecked from his mouth. "I can't believe I killed my parents. Was it the right thing to do?"

"We brought the Resistance to its knees," Hux said. "Besides, you didn't kill your mother. I did."

Ren wondered if that was supposed to make him feel better. Even though he hadn't made the killing stroke, he was still responsible for his mother's death. And he would pay for that for the rest of his life. He would adjust. It might take time, but he would adjust. And being Supreme Leader would help that. He _had_ made the right decision. He continued eating soup in silence.

"Ren, I..." Hux began to speak, but trailed off.

Ren finished the soup. He wondered if Hux had brought him anything more filling. "What?" he asked. He leaned over the edge of the bed and peered into the bag; it was empty except for the ointment.

Hux's face twisted in consternation. "I—I can't stop thinking about that night in the refresher."

Ren gaped for just a second before his mind caught up with his body. He adjusted his face to a neutral expression and tilted his head. He hadn't expected that. He had almost forgotten about their meeting in the refresher, but he considered it a fond memory, except for the end. The end had been a great disappointment.

Hux shook his head, the same expression of consternation remaining.

"Don't tell me that you love me!" Ren blurted. He had established that he was incapable of love, and he didn't want to try to feel it, and he certainly didn't love Armitage Hux.

Hux gave a half-laugh. "I don't love you, Ren, but I sure as hell want to fuck you right now."

Ren looked down at himself. His body was sweaty; his clothes were rumpled; he was sure his hair was disheveled; and he hadn't changed his clothes in several days. What was so appealing about that? Nevertheless, if Hux was interested, sex would make a fine distraction. "Let me take a shower— _alone_ —and I'll let you do whatever you want to me when I'm clean."

Hux nodded eagerly.

Ren pried himself off the bed and crossed the room to the refresher. On the way he picked up some comfortable clothes for after the shower. In the refresher, he stripped off his remaining clothes and tossed them onto the floor. He stepped under the sonic shower and let the sweat and the dirt and the blood and those lingering feelings all be washed away. He stayed longer than he needed to, just because it felt so good, but he cut the shower short when he remembered that Hux was waiting. He was surprised that Hux hadn't interrupted his shower despite the warning.

Dressed in an undershirt and loose pants, he padded back into the bedroom. In the ten minutes he'd been gone, Hux had changed the sheets, made the bed perfectly, and left the dirty sheets in a neatly folded pile near the door. Ren didn't know whether to be annoyed or amused.

"So," he said awkwardly. His experience in initiating sexual activity was limited to that night in the shower, and there had been very little initiating in that interaction. He looked down at the bandage around his arm, and the other bandage unseen under his undershirt, and noticed the numbness of his cheek. He wanted this, but he had never felt more fragile. "Be gentle with me," he said softly.

Hux came up to him and cupped Ren's left cheek gently in his hand. "I won't hurt you," he said. His blue-green eyes did not hold their usual hardness and his face was soft. Ren trusted him.

Still cupping his cheek, Hux leaned in and kissed him. His lips were soft and yielding, just the way Ren remembered them. Hux's tongue probed into his mouth, exploring it, and Ren tangled his tongue with Hux's. Hux sucked Ren's lower lip into his mouth. Ren heard himself make a little noise. They were just beginning and already he wanted more. He ran his fingers through Hux's copper-colored hair, ruffling it, and deepened the kiss.

Ren could have kissed forever, but Hux broke away, leaving Ren wanting. Then Hux grasped the bottom edge of Ren's undershirt and gently pulled it off over his head. The bandage on his side was revealed. The kiss had distracted Ren from the sting and he'd almost forgotten his injury.

Hux traced his fingers across Ren's bared chest. The spidery feeling tickled Ren. Then Hux found one of his nipples and rolled it between his index finger and thumb. Ren gasped a little and his hands clutched at Hux's arms. He could feel his nipple stiffening from Hux's attention. He was tired of letting things happen to him. He wanted some control.

"I want to see you," Ren said. "Take off...take off your uniform."

Hux's lips twitched with a smile. He unbuckled his belt, unzipped his uniform jacket, and shrugged out of it. He wore no gloves; it seemed he'd planned for this to happen. He shed his undershirt as well and stood bare-chested before Ren. His skin was milky pale; the pink of his nipples was stark against the rest of his chest. Ren wanted to touch him; he had every intention of touching him.

Ren bent down and pressed his lips to Hux's collarbone. He was very tempted to suck and leave a bruise—he still had yellowish marks from his—but they had agreed on gentle. He pulled back just a little, licked his lips, and kissed again a bit lower down. He left a wet trail of kisses down Hux's chest, and then laid his palm over Hux's heart. The beat was rapid, almost fluttering, and Ren was sure his heartbeat matched.

Kneeling, he kissed down Hux's belly, felt it twitch when Hux gasped, and laid his hands around Hux's hips. This position was familiar, but this morning would not play out the same way. He noticed, at the level of his chin, that Hux was hard already. He remembered that, too. Ren cupped his hand around Hux's erection, heard him draw in a breath, and then went for the button on his breeches.

Ren undid the button and tugged down the zipper. "Sit down on the bed."

Hux seated himself on the edge of the bed and Ren knelt in front of him. He undid the buttons on the inside of one of Hux's shiny, knee-high boots and pulled off the boot, followed by the black sock. He rubbed his thumb across the sole of Hux's foot, lightly kissed the top, and moved on to the other boot. Hux observed, looking puzzled but pleased.

"Now the pants," Ren said and dragged off Hux's pants and underwear in one pull. Hux's cock was hard and pink and a good handful in size, and it had a high angle, almost touching his belly. "This is familiar," Ren murmured. He kissed the tip, licked off the droplet of fluid building there, and explored with his tongue. His own cock was just as hard as Hux's, but he wouldn't touch it yet. He'd save that for later.

"I have a favor to ask of you," Hux said.

"What?" Ren asked.

"I'm going to lie down and I want you to sit on my face."

" _What_?" Ren repeated with alarm.

"The Grand Marshal knows what he's talking about when it comes to sex," Hux said. "Do it."

Ren was filled with questions about how that had come to be, and tempted to retort something about the Supreme Leader knowing what was appropriate for his own body, but he acted on neither. "Fine. Lie down."

Hux stretched out on the bed. His body was beautiful, soft in all the right places, but not weak. His pale skin was flushing pink. "Face away from me," he said.

Ren shed his pants and awkwardly positioned himself over Hux's face with his body pointed in the direction of Hux's feet. He knew what was going to happen and he dreaded it. His legs were quivering, but Hux grabbed his hips and held him there. And then he stuck out his tongue: a little lick to the inner thigh, a gentle nibble, a tracing of the crease between thigh and body. Ren had relaxed by the time Hux's tongue reached its target. Hux's tongue traced a circle around Ren's rim—and Ren was moaning before it reached the halfway point.

"H—Hu—Hux," Ren stammered.

Hux hummed something that may have been a response, but Ren felt the sensation of the hum, and it was amazing. Hux used the flat of his tongue to lick around, and Ren's head fell back. His cock was so hard it was throbbing, but his hands were too weak to touch it. His whole body trembled. He wanted this to last forever, but he knew he couldn't.

"Wait, stop," he panted. Hux released him and he collapsed onto the bed.

"Was I right?" Hux asked.

Ren didn't answer. "There's some lotion in that drawer," he said. And then the anxiety set in. Would Hux know that he'd never done this before? Hux was obviously experienced; he had even said so. What would he do if he found out Ren had no experience?

Hux retrieved the lotion and kindly made no comment about why it might be there. "Lie back," he said.

Ren lay back with his head propped up on two pillows. He almost asked if that was okay, but decided that sounded too inexperienced. He let Hux gently spread his legs. They were quivering with tension.

"Relax," Hux said. He squeezed a blob of lotion onto his fingers. "This is going to feel cold," he cautioned, and then touched his fingers to the place his mouth had occupied moments earlier.

One finger was fine—cold, but not painful. Two fingers were somewhat painful, but he could endure. Then Hux gestured with his fingers and they hit something that made him yelp—with pleasure, not with pain. "What was _that_?" Ren asked breathlessly.

Hux laughed and used the opportunity to add a third finger.

"Ow!" Ren hissed with pain. "Please tell me your cock isn't that big."

Hux smirked and withdrew his fingers. "I think you'll be uncomfortable on your back, so turn over and get on your knees." He was so precise and straightforward. He carried his work personality over into bed.

Ren objected to being told what to do, but at the same time he appreciated Hux's concern for his comfort. And he had no experience to tell him whether one position was better than another. He turned over and knelt on the bed, and discovered the most comfortable position for him was with his elbows also on the bed. It was an awkward position and remained so until Hux's body curled over his.

"Ready?" Hux asked.

"Mm-hmm."

Ever so gently, Hux pushed his lotion-covered cock into him. Ren had prepared for pain, but it was minimal. Hux groaned and Ren felt him bottom out inside of him. It was a strange, full feeling, but he liked it. Hux thrust lazily at first and his hand found Ren's cock to stroke just as slowly. Overwhelmed by sensation, Ren let out a whimper and Hux took that as permission to move faster.

Ren expected Hux to get rougher, but he remained as gentle as he'd promised to be. Ren got to linger wonderfully on the edge of orgasm for long moments before he came, and Hux followed shortly.

Ren flopped down onto the bed and turned onto his uninjured side. Hux lay down behind him and draped his arm over Ren's side. It felt secure and comforting. Ren liked it, but he knew it would never last. Something occurred to him then. "No," he said.

"No, what?" Hux asked.

"You asked if I was a virgin. I'm not."

Hux exhaled sharply in a way that was almost a laugh. Ren could practically see him rolling his eyes. And then it happened, what he was expecting, what he had been awaiting. "I need to return to duty," Hux said. "I'll...I'll meet you for dinner and we can start drafting our agreement."

"You'll be _back_ , right?" Ren asked.

"Of course I'll be back," Hux said dismissively. Apparently it was never a question to him.

Ren rolled over to look at Hux. "Use my shower before you go."

Ren lay still on the bed while Hux showered. He watched Hux dress in his uniform and once more become Grand Marshal Hux. Maybe he should find a uniform; the black robes were somewhat unwieldy, and the helmet—wherever it was—had become unnecessary. A Supreme Leader could dress however he wished.

After Hux left, Ren measured how hungry he was compared to how sore he was. He had no intention of going to the mess hall or the officer's lounge to eat, but if he got dressed, he could order food and have it delivered.

As he lay on the bed, he contemplated his life. He had chosen the darkness. He had chosen anger, hatred, fear, greed, and desire—all of which would bring him power. Over everything else, he had chosen the power.

He sat up. He had a galaxy to rule. He had a Resistance to annihilate. He had an uncle, the last Jedi, to kill. And around it all, he had a man to fuck.


End file.
